Thursday, November 29, 2007
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Greeting Card Market Flourishing
Greeting Card Market Flourishing
A new study conducted by Unity Marketing finds that greeting cards were the fastest growing category in the overall stationery market in 2006. This showed a big comeback for the product after four years of steadily declining sales, rising over 11 percent from 2004 to 2006. The report further showed that, in 2006, the market for greeting cards climbed to over $10 billion.
Pam Danziger, president of Unity Marketing, noted that from 2000 to 2004 the sales of greeting cards were in steady decline, but in 2005 sales began to turn around, as, she says, a result of a shift in consumers' shopping preferences away from mass retailers and discounters. "In 2006 specialty card and gift shops regained 6 market share points. As a result, the mass merchants are holding on as market share leader by a thread," says Danziger. She notes that a drop in the number of specialty retail shops in the card and gift segments had an impact on sales. Now there is a revival of specialty retail for greeting cards, and due to the quality products, people prefer these shops to the mass merchants and discounters. Danziger explains, "A few years back the mass merchants, such as Wal-Mart, were the biggest, baddest competitors in the greeting card business, driving prices down and capturing the largest share of business. This resulted in a winnowing out of the weaker specialty retailers that couldn't survive the mass retailers' onslaught. But this new study shows that the tide is turning. The specialty retailers that remain are robust competitors able to attract more affluent shoppers who will pay more for the better designs and higher quality greeting cards available through these stores."
Published by Talcott Communications Corporation. Copyright © 1998-2007
Talcott Communications Corporation. All Rights Reserved
A new study conducted by Unity Marketing finds that greeting cards were the fastest growing category in the overall stationery market in 2006. This showed a big comeback for the product after four years of steadily declining sales, rising over 11 percent from 2004 to 2006. The report further showed that, in 2006, the market for greeting cards climbed to over $10 billion.
Pam Danziger, president of Unity Marketing, noted that from 2000 to 2004 the sales of greeting cards were in steady decline, but in 2005 sales began to turn around, as, she says, a result of a shift in consumers' shopping preferences away from mass retailers and discounters. "In 2006 specialty card and gift shops regained 6 market share points. As a result, the mass merchants are holding on as market share leader by a thread," says Danziger. She notes that a drop in the number of specialty retail shops in the card and gift segments had an impact on sales. Now there is a revival of specialty retail for greeting cards, and due to the quality products, people prefer these shops to the mass merchants and discounters. Danziger explains, "A few years back the mass merchants, such as Wal-Mart, were the biggest, baddest competitors in the greeting card business, driving prices down and capturing the largest share of business. This resulted in a winnowing out of the weaker specialty retailers that couldn't survive the mass retailers' onslaught. But this new study shows that the tide is turning. The specialty retailers that remain are robust competitors able to attract more affluent shoppers who will pay more for the better designs and higher quality greeting cards available through these stores."
Published by Talcott Communications Corporation. Copyright © 1998-2007
Talcott Communications Corporation. All Rights Reserved
Friday, October 26, 2007
1 state 2 states red states blue states
GrammaBurp cards can be found in twenty-one US States. I was looking at my color-coded map that I use to keep track of what states carry our cards & it hit me ... the pattern is similar to the red states / blue states maps ... especially he newer ones ...
Blue represents states we're in.
MY MAP LOOKS SOMETHING LIKE THIS ...
THEIR MAP
So ... republicans hate us ...
LOL
Blue represents states we're in.
MY MAP LOOKS SOMETHING LIKE THIS ...
THEIR MAP
So ... republicans hate us ...
LOL
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Whoa...
Whoa, I've been so busy lately... blogging get pushed to the bottom of the list when it's this nuts.
My daughter is about to have our 2nd grandchild.
I've been furiously working on getting all of the new cards completed ... published ... printed ... cataloged ... copyrighted ... advertised ... yikes!
Filling new orders, filling reorders...
It's been very good for me -- staying busy.
Show me the new cards now!
My daughter is about to have our 2nd grandchild.
I've been furiously working on getting all of the new cards completed ... published ... printed ... cataloged ... copyrighted ... advertised ... yikes!
Filling new orders, filling reorders...
It's been very good for me -- staying busy.
Show me the new cards now!
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Thursday, July 5, 2007
I have made a conscious effort to separate business & politics. But this must be shared.
I have made a conscious effort to separate business & politics. But this must be shared.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Love is ...
Love is ...
When a retailer calls & says they HAD TO place an order because she & her staff were spending too much time sitting at the computer, laughing their asses off at our cards & not getting any work done!
Love is ...
Re-orders ... "we've sold out of these & these & these & these ... I need more! how fast can you send 'em?"
When a retailer calls & says they HAD TO place an order because she & her staff were spending too much time sitting at the computer, laughing their asses off at our cards & not getting any work done!
Love is ...
Re-orders ... "we've sold out of these & these & these & these ... I need more! how fast can you send 'em?"
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Sales Reps, spike the punch, freelance writers...
A while back I was contacted by my first sales rep company. I should tell you, over the last couple of years I've learned that when it comes to sales reps, they find you, not the other way around.
So we do all of the initial stuff... talking, terms, agreement, & I send samples. Lots of them. And then it's a waiting game. 2 months go by & nothing. I e-mail them & get no response. Eh, I figure I've been ripped off. No big deal. Another couple / few hundred to write off. I chalk it up to a learning experience. Then out of the blue, hundreds + in orders from them.
Some days I think I'll never figure out people. Roll with the punches... does that mean take the shit & bounce back? or does it mean, when you see a punch coming, roll your head to the side to make the impact as painless as possible? Probably both.
Eh. Screw rolling with the punch. I say spike the punch.
So now we have several sales reps. And I LOVE the fact that they do the selling, because that's my least favorite part of owning a business. Next I'll need to outsource my product packaging & shipping, because packing & shipping is 2nd in line for my least favorite things to do ... Oh gosh, it almost sounds like I'm complaining now, doesn't it... I'm not. Really I'm not. Just in a mood I guess.
We added novelty fridge magnets to the line this year. The feedback ... & sales reports are showing that our magnets absolutely ROCK! They're selling twice as fast as our cards EVER did. AND every day I get a clearer view of which cards are popular, and which are not so good. The not-so-good / non-bestselling ones will be coming out of the line. I want only the best. In order to do that though, we need many more cards IN the line... So we're using freelance writers now. Struggled with that one for a bit, my own ego was in the way... but once I talked it through with the team, we agreed. I got us off to a good start, but we want the best products ... and in order to give that to people, we need to expand not only the line of cards & novelties --more quickly than I alone can write cards -- but we also need to offer the funniest shit on earth.
Prepare to laugh motherfuckers!
So we do all of the initial stuff... talking, terms, agreement, & I send samples. Lots of them. And then it's a waiting game. 2 months go by & nothing. I e-mail them & get no response. Eh, I figure I've been ripped off. No big deal. Another couple / few hundred to write off. I chalk it up to a learning experience. Then out of the blue, hundreds + in orders from them.
Some days I think I'll never figure out people. Roll with the punches... does that mean take the shit & bounce back? or does it mean, when you see a punch coming, roll your head to the side to make the impact as painless as possible? Probably both.
Eh. Screw rolling with the punch. I say spike the punch.
So now we have several sales reps. And I LOVE the fact that they do the selling, because that's my least favorite part of owning a business. Next I'll need to outsource my product packaging & shipping, because packing & shipping is 2nd in line for my least favorite things to do ... Oh gosh, it almost sounds like I'm complaining now, doesn't it... I'm not. Really I'm not. Just in a mood I guess.
We added novelty fridge magnets to the line this year. The feedback ... & sales reports are showing that our magnets absolutely ROCK! They're selling twice as fast as our cards EVER did. AND every day I get a clearer view of which cards are popular, and which are not so good. The not-so-good / non-bestselling ones will be coming out of the line. I want only the best. In order to do that though, we need many more cards IN the line... So we're using freelance writers now. Struggled with that one for a bit, my own ego was in the way... but once I talked it through with the team, we agreed. I got us off to a good start, but we want the best products ... and in order to give that to people, we need to expand not only the line of cards & novelties --more quickly than I alone can write cards -- but we also need to offer the funniest shit on earth.
Prepare to laugh motherfuckers!
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Humor Trend ... I'm there!
Forecasting Trends in Holiday Greetings
By Jolene Turner, Associate Editor, Giftware News
There are three major greeting card trends that are also spilling over into the new holiday cards for both Christmas and Hanukah. These three trends are:
. Humorous Sentiments
. Handmade and Embellished Creations
. Pet-related Themes
Humor Trend
While humor has always been popular, currently there seems to be a higher demand for it. People are looking for a break from the more serious issues that are happening in the world around us; laughing helps to relieve stress while trying to remain strong and move forward in today's world. With a humorous greeting card people can escape for a bit, laugh, and also be reminded that they are loved.
The types of humor that seems to be really hot right now are clever and dark humor. The sentiments are smart and make you think and then burst out laughing because it almost shocks you that a four word sentence can be so funny and smart. In terms of dark humor, this could be popular almost because of the state of the world's affairs also, people are a little more cynical and angry; being able to channel it through dark humor helps us to stay balanced.
meta tags & bots & spiders - oh, my!
Finally!
I'm on the right path!
Years of typing "greeting cards wholesale humorous" into a google search, and getting 500,000 results, but not finding my own website... until today. Page 7.
Unexpected. Like scratching a lottery ticket. You scratch so many losers, that when you actually win, it's a surprise!
Now I know I'm doing it right.
Now I head on up to page 1 or 2.
Yippee!
I'm on the right path!
Years of typing "greeting cards wholesale humorous" into a google search, and getting 500,000 results, but not finding my own website... until today. Page 7.
Unexpected. Like scratching a lottery ticket. You scratch so many losers, that when you actually win, it's a surprise!
Now I know I'm doing it right.
Now I head on up to page 1 or 2.
Yippee!
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
New New New Novelties!
Yup!
Coffee mugs, t-shirts, journals, posters, stickers, boxers & thongs ... even teddy bears!
All with GrammaBurp designs on 'em!
How fun is THAT!
Come visit GrammaBurp's novelties shop!
Coffee mugs, t-shirts, journals, posters, stickers, boxers & thongs ... even teddy bears!
All with GrammaBurp designs on 'em!
How fun is THAT!
Come visit GrammaBurp's novelties shop!
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Advertising hell
Cost efficient. Profitable. That's the goal when it comes to advertising... & I'm definitely going through the trial & error thing. Finding the right avenues for advertising has, by far, been one of the most challenging aspects of this business so far.
Unlike what I see in most of my competitors, I have virtually zero dollars in start-up cash. No investors, and I refuse to take out any loans. I decided at the start that I would not put my family at risk. I'm a foster parent. That's what I do, that's who I am... the wife & I are good at it & we've made it our life's work... and that's the only source of income our family has. (You get to a certain age & you realize that happiness in what you do every day, far outweighs a bigger salary.) The few hundred dollars each month that is left over after the bills are paid, is what my business got started on. So my business has to be self-sufficient... self-sustaining.
That's where advertising comes in. Advertise, get orders as a result, orders pay for more advertising.... right?
There are several trade publications. I did a TON of market research & I chose one, that I thought was best, and advertised with them for over a year. I got many leads through that advertisement, and several orders, and the orders almost covered the advertising cost.
So this year I'm seeking out ... and will try new advertising. Mostly online.
There is one that lists itself as being the biggest & best online resource. They called me, once a month or so, for an entire year. Finally convincing me to buy ad space online. I get "hit" notifications via e-mail every day, which (unfortunately) I suspect are generated by their own staff, as I have received **zero** orders through them.
A few weeks ago http://www.wholesalecrafts.com/ was recommended to me by a fellow greeting card manufacturer. It's juried. I applied & was accepted. I have been a member since 4-5-07 & as of this morning, I've already gotten 4 new retail accounts.
THIS is what I need to find more of! Cost efficient, legitimate ... with real results.
AND THEN THERE'S THE NSS ...
In the stationery business, everybody tells you that you absolutely must participate in the National Stationery Show in NYC if you want your greeting card business to succeed. I've even seen evidence firsthand that retail store owners will not take you seriously if you do not attend the show. Twice I've had retailers, about to place orders, ask if I was going to be at the show -- & after I said no, they changed their minds about ordering from me. Every year I stress out about it. But the fact is, it's wicked expensive. The booth alone costs a couple of thousand dollars. Then you have to pay for decorating the booth, lighting, fireproofing, fabric, electricity, carpet, chairs, etc. etc. When you figure in travel costs, meals & hotel, you need to have 5 grand or so to go. (And that's a bare-bones estimate.) Yes, I should. But can I justify it to my family at this point? No. I cannot. So here I am, another year going by. I wonder if it's a huge mistake or not... and the answer is, I just don't know.
The good news is, business continues to pick up! Slowly but surely, the retail orders continue to come in. A teensy bit more frequently every month. We're in 14 States now! I think that's something to brag about! Although after having just finished figuring my business income taxes (yes just now), I'm still well below federal poverty guidelines, lol.
OK, I am off to find more advertising avenues!
:-)
Unlike what I see in most of my competitors, I have virtually zero dollars in start-up cash. No investors, and I refuse to take out any loans. I decided at the start that I would not put my family at risk. I'm a foster parent. That's what I do, that's who I am... the wife & I are good at it & we've made it our life's work... and that's the only source of income our family has. (You get to a certain age & you realize that happiness in what you do every day, far outweighs a bigger salary.) The few hundred dollars each month that is left over after the bills are paid, is what my business got started on. So my business has to be self-sufficient... self-sustaining.
That's where advertising comes in. Advertise, get orders as a result, orders pay for more advertising.... right?
There are several trade publications. I did a TON of market research & I chose one, that I thought was best, and advertised with them for over a year. I got many leads through that advertisement, and several orders, and the orders almost covered the advertising cost.
So this year I'm seeking out ... and will try new advertising. Mostly online.
There is one that lists itself as being the biggest & best online resource. They called me, once a month or so, for an entire year. Finally convincing me to buy ad space online. I get "hit" notifications via e-mail every day, which (unfortunately) I suspect are generated by their own staff, as I have received **zero** orders through them.
A few weeks ago http://www.wholesalecrafts.com/ was recommended to me by a fellow greeting card manufacturer. It's juried. I applied & was accepted. I have been a member since 4-5-07 & as of this morning, I've already gotten 4 new retail accounts.
THIS is what I need to find more of! Cost efficient, legitimate ... with real results.
AND THEN THERE'S THE NSS ...
In the stationery business, everybody tells you that you absolutely must participate in the National Stationery Show in NYC if you want your greeting card business to succeed. I've even seen evidence firsthand that retail store owners will not take you seriously if you do not attend the show. Twice I've had retailers, about to place orders, ask if I was going to be at the show -- & after I said no, they changed their minds about ordering from me. Every year I stress out about it. But the fact is, it's wicked expensive. The booth alone costs a couple of thousand dollars. Then you have to pay for decorating the booth, lighting, fireproofing, fabric, electricity, carpet, chairs, etc. etc. When you figure in travel costs, meals & hotel, you need to have 5 grand or so to go. (And that's a bare-bones estimate.) Yes, I should. But can I justify it to my family at this point? No. I cannot. So here I am, another year going by. I wonder if it's a huge mistake or not... and the answer is, I just don't know.
The good news is, business continues to pick up! Slowly but surely, the retail orders continue to come in. A teensy bit more frequently every month. We're in 14 States now! I think that's something to brag about! Although after having just finished figuring my business income taxes (yes just now), I'm still well below federal poverty guidelines, lol.
OK, I am off to find more advertising avenues!
:-)
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Chocolate & creativity ...
Homemade Easter Candy...
Melted some chocolate & made some chocolate bunnies on sticks. The little kit comes with chocolate molds & little straw-like sticks for the lollipops. Cute, fun, yummy!
Cravings...
So tonight, prego (my daughter) is here & I make her a chocolate shake. I discovered a bit too late that we had no straws. So I pull out a little straw from the candy mold set. Now, these are really hard plastic, and probably the same size as the stirrers you get with a mixed drink.) It works... with a little effort. I hand the shake to prego & she says, "what the hell?" (her favorite saying). I smile & say, "we're outta straws... pretty creative, huh?" (very proud of myself).
She responds by looking me square in the eye & saying: "Ma, there's a fine line between creative & ghetto."
My wonderful, witty daughter nearly made me wet my pants on that one.
Melted some chocolate & made some chocolate bunnies on sticks. The little kit comes with chocolate molds & little straw-like sticks for the lollipops. Cute, fun, yummy!
Cravings...
So tonight, prego (my daughter) is here & I make her a chocolate shake. I discovered a bit too late that we had no straws. So I pull out a little straw from the candy mold set. Now, these are really hard plastic, and probably the same size as the stirrers you get with a mixed drink.) It works... with a little effort. I hand the shake to prego & she says, "what the hell?" (her favorite saying). I smile & say, "we're outta straws... pretty creative, huh?" (very proud of myself).
She responds by looking me square in the eye & saying: "Ma, there's a fine line between creative & ghetto."
My wonderful, witty daughter nearly made me wet my pants on that one.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
April Fool's Day 2007
Our 12 yr old came to me this AM & asked how we could get Dor (the wifey) ... with an April Fools joke.
I informed her I'd never been able to. So we sat & talked & thought about it.
We decided she would smear peanut butter under the doorknob.
The 12 yr old asked me what she should do after ... if it worked. I said "watch, enjoy, ... and then run!"
It worked!
& she ran.
Screaming & laughter filled the house today.
I love it.
I informed her I'd never been able to. So we sat & talked & thought about it.
We decided she would smear peanut butter under the doorknob.
The 12 yr old asked me what she should do after ... if it worked. I said "watch, enjoy, ... and then run!"
It worked!
& she ran.
Screaming & laughter filled the house today.
I love it.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Who needs oxygen, anyway!?!
I just had an idea! So, you know how half of the people in the world are scared of flying ... well, I think we're all more afraid of crashing, the flying thing is unnatural, but not as scary as crashing ... ANYWAY ... you know those oxygen masks that drop from the ceiling if there's a (((problem))) ... ya, those... what do you say ... we replace the oxygen, with laughing gas. I think that would solve a lot of the anxiety related issues people have on planes. And if you ever were -- God forbid -- actually going down ... you could go out laughing.
THAT reminds me of the time I went to the dentist & got laughing gas for the first time. I was probably 13 years old. The whole thing is a blur, except for the ending. They said, "you're all set" & I got up from the dentist's chair, looked around, I looked left ... I looked right ... I remember smirking... then I walked, still smirking, down the hallway toward where my dad was waiting for me. I took that one last step around the corner at the end of the long hallway -- I saw my dad -- & I burst out with: "Dad! They gave me laughing gas!" I remember it came out of my mouth A LOT louder than I thought it was gonna. And I was sure of it, because eveyone in the waiting area behind my dad, started laughing. And I proceeded to laugh uncontrollably. My father stared at me, wide-eyed, trying not to lose it too.
To this day I think they screwed up the gas levels or something, because I've been chasing that same **happy place** feeling since that day at the dentists.
Most times, when I go in to the dentist, I won't ask for it, but if they give me the mask, as soon as they leave the room, I take B-I-G breaths in, hold it, let it out, another big breath.... you know .... the same way that people who take the pot inhale ... (lol) ... and when they come back, resume normal breathing, BUT YOU MUST be prepared for them ... & their evil trickery. They dial down the laughing gas, and dial UP the oxygen... AND they ask you questions. You must be prepared to answer them or they cut you off completely! You're enjoying the little legal buzz you've got goin' on, and they PURPOSELY try to ruit it by bringing you back to reality. Bastards. You should know, the 'smile - nod' thing DOES NOT work. They watch for that. If you answer their inane questions with a smile & a nod, you can consider yourself busted. You get straight oxygen. OH, they won't tell you it's straight oxygen. They just switch it up on you. You have to know. REMEMBER to watch for the subtle head movement of the dentist -- to the tech -- the one that means she's wasted, straight oxygen from here on in And THATS when you stop breathing through your nose mask.
I say ... Who needs oxygen, anyway!?!
THAT reminds me of the time I went to the dentist & got laughing gas for the first time. I was probably 13 years old. The whole thing is a blur, except for the ending. They said, "you're all set" & I got up from the dentist's chair, looked around, I looked left ... I looked right ... I remember smirking... then I walked, still smirking, down the hallway toward where my dad was waiting for me. I took that one last step around the corner at the end of the long hallway -- I saw my dad -- & I burst out with: "Dad! They gave me laughing gas!" I remember it came out of my mouth A LOT louder than I thought it was gonna. And I was sure of it, because eveyone in the waiting area behind my dad, started laughing. And I proceeded to laugh uncontrollably. My father stared at me, wide-eyed, trying not to lose it too.
To this day I think they screwed up the gas levels or something, because I've been chasing that same **happy place** feeling since that day at the dentists.
Most times, when I go in to the dentist, I won't ask for it, but if they give me the mask, as soon as they leave the room, I take B-I-G breaths in, hold it, let it out, another big breath.... you know .... the same way that people who take the pot inhale ... (lol) ... and when they come back, resume normal breathing, BUT YOU MUST be prepared for them ... & their evil trickery. They dial down the laughing gas, and dial UP the oxygen... AND they ask you questions. You must be prepared to answer them or they cut you off completely! You're enjoying the little legal buzz you've got goin' on, and they PURPOSELY try to ruit it by bringing you back to reality. Bastards. You should know, the 'smile - nod' thing DOES NOT work. They watch for that. If you answer their inane questions with a smile & a nod, you can consider yourself busted. You get straight oxygen. OH, they won't tell you it's straight oxygen. They just switch it up on you. You have to know. REMEMBER to watch for the subtle head movement of the dentist -- to the tech -- the one that means she's wasted, straight oxygen from here on in And THATS when you stop breathing through your nose mask.
I say ... Who needs oxygen, anyway!?!
Friday, March 2, 2007
The Dentist ...
I sat in the dentist's chair shaking in fear.
Forever - very afraid of the dentist. But I'm not sure why. Maybe because the dentist I had for 30 years has the personality of a stone ... No, that doesn't describe him right ... What would you call a stone, with a nasty attitude? umm, anyway, I'm pretty sure he doesn't like people... & he's got this 'holier than thou' thing... combined with a non-caring attitude. Overall, he always seemed -- just ... very cold. Like he's doing you a favor by allowing you to go to his office. It's difficult to explain...
I also think my dentist fears come from the fact that dental work is so invasive. "Open up" ... "wider" ... "wider" ... "OK now this is gonna hurt a little"... Kind of similar to going to the OBGYN ... only the other end.
And it goes way back -- to my childhood.
What's the ONE thing you hate the taste of? The one flavor that even the thought of it makes you gag? liver? Fish? garlic? For me, until I was 20 yrs old or so, it was mint. So you see, this made brushing unpleasant, and I gagged & dry-heaved every -- single -- time. They didn't have bubble gum flavored toothpaste waaayy back when I was a kid.
And then there's the fact that cotton in the mouth, for me, is like fingernails scraping a chalkboard.
So, I guess it's a compilation of all of that stuff. So I put off appointments. I wait. I reschedule. I cancel appointments....
Then yesterday.
I finally go. I don't want to deal with an abcess, so I just decide I need to grow up & deal with it. Force myself to keep the appt.
I'm supposed to have one molar taken out.
One, full-mouth x-ray later he comes in & says: "you know, this wisdom tooth really should come out. Lets do it today. My response? "Sure, why not." I know for a fact that my dentist told me 5 or 6 years ago that the wisdom tooth needed to come out. But it wasn't bothering me at all, so .... you know, why fix what ain't broke? AND I knew full-well, that I would not be back in that chair for an extraction for at least another few years.... so.... you get the idea.
Novocaine & needles never really bothered me. I don't know why, but they don't.
I get the shots. 5 minutes ... 10 minutes ... waiting is torture. Waiting means panicing, imagining everything that could possibly go wrong. Picturing myself hopping out of the chair & running out of there... He comes in. "You ready?" he says. ... I shrug. "You'll be fine" he tells me. Vice grip-like tool. He pushes down, really hard. Harder than my lower jaw can push back. The assistant has to apply upward pressure to my jaw to equal the dentist's pushing. I hear crunching, cracking. I taste blood. "Huh" the dentist says. "Huh?!?" "What does 'huh' mean" I think to myself. Dude! I scream in silence What does 'huh' mean?!? He keeps pushing, pulling. "Well, the tooth wants to come out" he adds. It wants to? I think to myself ... How do you know it wants to? I think it was perfectly happy right where it was. Do teeth talk to you? Do they say: Hello mr. dentist ... I'd really like to come out of this jawbone now.... she has been bombarding me with chocolate ... she should be arrested for her piss-poor flossing technique ... I simply cannot take it any longer.... And just then, he says "OK, that one's out", now we'll take the top one. Push, crunch, crack, pull, push, push, pull ... "OK you're all set". He says ... "How do you feel?" In my mind I respond: How do I feel? Are you fucking serious? And do you expect an answer? My mouth is numb, full of blood & cotton & little chips of teeth, and I'm supposed to talk? I nod. I guess that means I am OK, I am alive. Another traumatic event is over. I lived through it. Now I get to pay them hundreds of dollars for ripping parts of my body out & making me bleed.
They give me instructions. No smoking for 12 hours (ha) no straws (ok) no crumbly foods (ok) nothing "real" hot (ok) They give me gauze. I walk to the reception area & I sit down, checkbook & pen ... start making out the check. That's when they inform me my insurance covered it. "You're kidding." I say. Nope... Merry Christmas the lady says. Wow, that was a nice surprise.
I open the door & walk out through the waiting area, there are a half dozen people. I had not looked in a mirror or anything, but I could tell from the raised eyebrows, and attempted kind smiles & wide-eyed stares ... that I look like hell.
I leave there with two teeth less than I went in with. One molar & one wisdom tooth. And I look like a boxer - who lost - after 3 rounds.
And it pisses me off that I forgot to take the teeth with me. If I had, maybe the tooth fairy would have visited me last night.... nah, probably not ... since I wasn't really able to sleep.
And why do they call it a wisdom tooth? Is it the older = wiser thing? I am without it now & I don't feel any less wise... aside from the fact that if I was really smart I would have never lost any teeth to begin with.
And I also think we humans should adapt ... you're born & grow baby teeth ... then those fall out & you get your adult teeth. Well, hundreds of years ago, that was fine, nobody lived past 40 anyway. These days people are living well into their 80's, 90's, even 100's. Shouldn't whoever's in charge of adaptation let us start growing a 3rd set? Something in-between baby teeth & adult teeth?
And what the hell do we need wisdom teeth for anyway if they all just get pulled?
Please think positive, healing thoughts & send em my way ... Thanks.
Forever - very afraid of the dentist. But I'm not sure why. Maybe because the dentist I had for 30 years has the personality of a stone ... No, that doesn't describe him right ... What would you call a stone, with a nasty attitude? umm, anyway, I'm pretty sure he doesn't like people... & he's got this 'holier than thou' thing... combined with a non-caring attitude. Overall, he always seemed -- just ... very cold. Like he's doing you a favor by allowing you to go to his office. It's difficult to explain...
I also think my dentist fears come from the fact that dental work is so invasive. "Open up" ... "wider" ... "wider" ... "OK now this is gonna hurt a little"... Kind of similar to going to the OBGYN ... only the other end.
And it goes way back -- to my childhood.
What's the ONE thing you hate the taste of? The one flavor that even the thought of it makes you gag? liver? Fish? garlic? For me, until I was 20 yrs old or so, it was mint. So you see, this made brushing unpleasant, and I gagged & dry-heaved every -- single -- time. They didn't have bubble gum flavored toothpaste waaayy back when I was a kid.
And then there's the fact that cotton in the mouth, for me, is like fingernails scraping a chalkboard.
So, I guess it's a compilation of all of that stuff. So I put off appointments. I wait. I reschedule. I cancel appointments....
Then yesterday.
I finally go. I don't want to deal with an abcess, so I just decide I need to grow up & deal with it. Force myself to keep the appt.
I'm supposed to have one molar taken out.
One, full-mouth x-ray later he comes in & says: "you know, this wisdom tooth really should come out. Lets do it today. My response? "Sure, why not." I know for a fact that my dentist told me 5 or 6 years ago that the wisdom tooth needed to come out. But it wasn't bothering me at all, so .... you know, why fix what ain't broke? AND I knew full-well, that I would not be back in that chair for an extraction for at least another few years.... so.... you get the idea.
Novocaine & needles never really bothered me. I don't know why, but they don't.
I get the shots. 5 minutes ... 10 minutes ... waiting is torture. Waiting means panicing, imagining everything that could possibly go wrong. Picturing myself hopping out of the chair & running out of there... He comes in. "You ready?" he says. ... I shrug. "You'll be fine" he tells me. Vice grip-like tool. He pushes down, really hard. Harder than my lower jaw can push back. The assistant has to apply upward pressure to my jaw to equal the dentist's pushing. I hear crunching, cracking. I taste blood. "Huh" the dentist says. "Huh?!?" "What does 'huh' mean" I think to myself. Dude! I scream in silence What does 'huh' mean?!? He keeps pushing, pulling. "Well, the tooth wants to come out" he adds. It wants to? I think to myself ... How do you know it wants to? I think it was perfectly happy right where it was. Do teeth talk to you? Do they say: Hello mr. dentist ... I'd really like to come out of this jawbone now.... she has been bombarding me with chocolate ... she should be arrested for her piss-poor flossing technique ... I simply cannot take it any longer.... And just then, he says "OK, that one's out", now we'll take the top one. Push, crunch, crack, pull, push, push, pull ... "OK you're all set". He says ... "How do you feel?" In my mind I respond: How do I feel? Are you fucking serious? And do you expect an answer? My mouth is numb, full of blood & cotton & little chips of teeth, and I'm supposed to talk? I nod. I guess that means I am OK, I am alive. Another traumatic event is over. I lived through it. Now I get to pay them hundreds of dollars for ripping parts of my body out & making me bleed.
They give me instructions. No smoking for 12 hours (ha) no straws (ok) no crumbly foods (ok) nothing "real" hot (ok) They give me gauze. I walk to the reception area & I sit down, checkbook & pen ... start making out the check. That's when they inform me my insurance covered it. "You're kidding." I say. Nope... Merry Christmas the lady says. Wow, that was a nice surprise.
I open the door & walk out through the waiting area, there are a half dozen people. I had not looked in a mirror or anything, but I could tell from the raised eyebrows, and attempted kind smiles & wide-eyed stares ... that I look like hell.
I leave there with two teeth less than I went in with. One molar & one wisdom tooth. And I look like a boxer - who lost - after 3 rounds.
And it pisses me off that I forgot to take the teeth with me. If I had, maybe the tooth fairy would have visited me last night.... nah, probably not ... since I wasn't really able to sleep.
And why do they call it a wisdom tooth? Is it the older = wiser thing? I am without it now & I don't feel any less wise... aside from the fact that if I was really smart I would have never lost any teeth to begin with.
And I also think we humans should adapt ... you're born & grow baby teeth ... then those fall out & you get your adult teeth. Well, hundreds of years ago, that was fine, nobody lived past 40 anyway. These days people are living well into their 80's, 90's, even 100's. Shouldn't whoever's in charge of adaptation let us start growing a 3rd set? Something in-between baby teeth & adult teeth?
And what the hell do we need wisdom teeth for anyway if they all just get pulled?
Please think positive, healing thoughts & send em my way ... Thanks.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
The Challenges Of Starting A Greeting Card Business
Well... that last post was difficult to read again. I haven't looked at it in years. I've got to say though, it's relieving knowing that I don't have to live that life anymore.
My spouse & I have been foster care providers for the last decade. After I resigned from the job I had for 13 years, we decided to do foster care full-time. We really do enjoy it. I much prefer a house full of noisy teenagers, than peace & quiet. There's something unnatural about complete silence. And I have never really been able to explain it, but I feel much happier when I'm surrounded by the chaos that comes with having a house full of kids.
Two years ago my greeting card business, GrammaBurp, officially opened. Starting a new business without any financial backing, whether it's a savings account, investors, or loans, is quite a challenge. The stipend you get for foster-parenting is officially said to be "for room & board", and if anyone reading this has ever raised a child ... teenager, you'll know that I'm not kidding when I say that the stipend barely covers it. So that leaves me without a lot to work with, in starting a business. I had a little from unemployment benefits, and that got me started. I also did a bit of eBay sales, but I learned to loathe that, so I only did it when I had no other options. And then, little by little, one sale at a time, my greeting card business became self-sustaining.
That's been one of the biggest challenges, making sure the business could support itself.
Another challenge I've faced, or not ... is DA- DA - DAAAA!!!! (((low echoing movie announcer guy's voice))) S-A-L-E-S. The word alone sends shivers of fear down my spine.
Yes, I took classes, I subscribed to newsletters, I read the best books ... but still I have yet to tackle my fear of sales. I know I have a great product & I know that it sells really well, but I don't know how to convince retail stores that it's a win / win situation. When they find me, and order... they're always happy. But I have yet to find much success in making the dreaded cold calls. I hate receiving sales calls, I know they hate it too. & I'm not naturally a pushy person... so it's really, really difficult for me.
Another challenge I've dealt with, successfully, is time management. In the beginning, the family didn't understand that I was actually working when I was in my home office. I think they thought I was just screwing around on the computer. They would come in & ask me anything & everything, like: "Hey barbie, where's the milk?". Usually I'd say "It's on the porch" or something ridiculous, and you always get the same response to that kind of comment. They all say: "Huh?" (Which sounds like a snippet of a yodel in slow-motion... starts out really low on the 'h', then rolls up to higher notes on the 'u' & the last 'h' ... sort of like Tim Allen / Tim Taylor -- the dad on home improvement -- Tool Time -- when the light bulb went on...) Eventually they realize the milk is in the fridge, behind the juice & not on the porch... although some of them actually looked outside for it.
We're known for having "family meetings" ... which I think is something I make them all go through because I had to sit through them as a teen also. Eventually, after several family meetings, we all agreed that while I'm in my office, I'm not the 1st person to ask where the dairy products are hiding.
It's working out a lot better now, than it did in the beginning. I think that when they started seeing my cards in stores it hit them that I was serious. One of the kids was with my spouse one day, & they went into a store in the next state over. He spotted the spinner full of my cards the minute they walked in & he said: (not quietly) "Oh my God! Those are GrammaBurp cards! Wow! I can't believe it! I know a famous person!" The clerk got a kick out of it. And after that, he started showing a genuine interest in the cards.
All in all, it's been a wonderful adventure so far. but right now my granddaughter would like to play a computer game, so .... until next time....
My spouse & I have been foster care providers for the last decade. After I resigned from the job I had for 13 years, we decided to do foster care full-time. We really do enjoy it. I much prefer a house full of noisy teenagers, than peace & quiet. There's something unnatural about complete silence. And I have never really been able to explain it, but I feel much happier when I'm surrounded by the chaos that comes with having a house full of kids.
Two years ago my greeting card business, GrammaBurp, officially opened. Starting a new business without any financial backing, whether it's a savings account, investors, or loans, is quite a challenge. The stipend you get for foster-parenting is officially said to be "for room & board", and if anyone reading this has ever raised a child ... teenager, you'll know that I'm not kidding when I say that the stipend barely covers it. So that leaves me without a lot to work with, in starting a business. I had a little from unemployment benefits, and that got me started. I also did a bit of eBay sales, but I learned to loathe that, so I only did it when I had no other options. And then, little by little, one sale at a time, my greeting card business became self-sustaining.
That's been one of the biggest challenges, making sure the business could support itself.
Another challenge I've faced, or not ... is DA- DA - DAAAA!!!! (((low echoing movie announcer guy's voice))) S-A-L-E-S. The word alone sends shivers of fear down my spine.
Yes, I took classes, I subscribed to newsletters, I read the best books ... but still I have yet to tackle my fear of sales. I know I have a great product & I know that it sells really well, but I don't know how to convince retail stores that it's a win / win situation. When they find me, and order... they're always happy. But I have yet to find much success in making the dreaded cold calls. I hate receiving sales calls, I know they hate it too. & I'm not naturally a pushy person... so it's really, really difficult for me.
Another challenge I've dealt with, successfully, is time management. In the beginning, the family didn't understand that I was actually working when I was in my home office. I think they thought I was just screwing around on the computer. They would come in & ask me anything & everything, like: "Hey barbie, where's the milk?". Usually I'd say "It's on the porch" or something ridiculous, and you always get the same response to that kind of comment. They all say: "Huh?" (Which sounds like a snippet of a yodel in slow-motion... starts out really low on the 'h', then rolls up to higher notes on the 'u' & the last 'h' ... sort of like Tim Allen / Tim Taylor -- the dad on home improvement -- Tool Time -- when the light bulb went on...) Eventually they realize the milk is in the fridge, behind the juice & not on the porch... although some of them actually looked outside for it.
We're known for having "family meetings" ... which I think is something I make them all go through because I had to sit through them as a teen also. Eventually, after several family meetings, we all agreed that while I'm in my office, I'm not the 1st person to ask where the dairy products are hiding.
It's working out a lot better now, than it did in the beginning. I think that when they started seeing my cards in stores it hit them that I was serious. One of the kids was with my spouse one day, & they went into a store in the next state over. He spotted the spinner full of my cards the minute they walked in & he said: (not quietly) "Oh my God! Those are GrammaBurp cards! Wow! I can't believe it! I know a famous person!" The clerk got a kick out of it. And after that, he started showing a genuine interest in the cards.
All in all, it's been a wonderful adventure so far. but right now my granddaughter would like to play a computer game, so .... until next time....
Old letter explaining why I resigned - job burnout - the causes
Clearing out my old e-mail & computer files, and I came across this... The reasons I resigned from my old job. Reading it brought me back, I traveled through time -- that old ache in my gut returned -- my stomach remembers the stress.
It's a long read, but it is all truth. (Asterics substituted for names.)
After more than 12 years of employment with **TheAgency** , I had to resign because of consistent poor working conditions, safety issues & being treated disrespectfully, which all together resulted in my experiencing numerous physical & emotional symptoms of job burnout.
I went to my supervisor when I realized I was experiencing a great number of job burnout symptoms & told her. I was not offered an alternate position, nor was I offered any counseling. Instead, my direct supervisor made jokes about me needing an antidepressant.
A large number of things contributed to my job burnout;
-recent cut in time off benefits
-frequent, mandatory overtime / having to work on days off
-numerous financial cutbacks
-issue with supplies
-a general sense of job insecurity
-increase in expectations coupled with decrease in staff
-communication issues throughout agency
-too much responsibility
-conflicting expectations
-frequently having to run programs short staffed
-unpleasant working conditions
-dangerous working conditions
-huge workload
-infrequent breaks
-long hours
-lack of control over my job
-little or no support from new supervisor
-constantly questioned & second-guessed about office or household supplies
(especially lightbulbs, paper towels & computer & fax ink)
-inability to participate in decision-making, little recognition for all the work I was doing
-supervisor joking about my job burnout - asked if I had gotten an antidepressant yet
-maggots
-rodents
-fleas
-loose stair treads
-icy parking lot
-lack of salt & sand
-bodily fluids in personal vehicles (vomit, urine, feces)
-2 years reporting foundation collapsing issue ignored
-no safety lighting
-cheap telephones that do not work well causing inability to dial 9-1-1 when needed & nothing was done
-being treated disrespectfully by human resources
resignation facts & dates
August 04 New supervisor. She was supposed to have weekly supervision with me. She consistently meets with the other site manager, for a weekly scheduled supervision. She scheduled one with me, then didn't come, so we had supervision on the phone that day. Did not have any other supervisions, though I did drop in a couple of times to communicate. My workload is twice that of my counterpart who was having weekly supervision. I have more than twice the # of clients & 1 1/2 times the staff to supervise, with little to no support.
New supervisor has bad follow-through. I asked her to speak with a therapist about a client wanting support group for breast cancer, the therapist told my staff to cancel the clients support group appt. A month later, my new supervisor followed up in staff meeting, which was a bit late, as the client had already had her mastectomy 2 weeks prior.
Increasingly more often being asked to come in on my days off. It happened 3 times in Sept / October.
In September I submitted a purchase request for four, $4 calculators for the staff to calculate mileage & for use while grocery shopping with clients. The request was denied. Staff & I had to purchase out of pocket & donate the calculators.
In September, I was given a 5 year service pin after having worked for **TheAgency** for 12+ years.
Physical symptoms I was experiencing:
Stabbing temple headaches daily.
Jaw aches daily d/t clenching jaw / teeth all night, every night (insurance would not cover the dental guard).
Irregular heartbeat diagnosed as premature ventricular contractions (which disappeared the day after my last day of work).
Days I would call out because I just couldn't stand the thought of going in were increasing.
Crying out of stress before going in to work.
Felt like I was busting my butt constantly, & doing more work than ever, yet every time I turned around, I was being told that I wasn't doing enough.
I was having nightmares about work & so not sleeping well. 4-5 hours sleep per night at best.
Dreaded getting out of bed in the AM.
My spouse & I went 5 months without having sexual relations. (I'm sure they had a good laugh after reading this line.)
I was at my breaking point. I'd gone so long doing so much hard work, giving my all & feeling so much stress, with so little recognition, & experiencing so many physical & mental symptoms that my spouse suggested I look up job burnout symptoms on the internet. I did on 9-27-04. This is when I recognised the problem.
During a meeting with ***supervisor 1 & supervisor 2*** I told them I was completely burnt out & felt that I would have to quit within the next few months. I told them I had recently read up on job burnout symptoms & that I have 90% of them, all except I am not doing drugs & I'm not suicidal.
On 10-?-04 ***supervisor 1*** called ***supervisor 2*** at the residential site & told her to ask me if I had started my antidepressant yet. This was said in front of staff, in a joking manner, but I did not find it funny at all. It was clear to me at that point that they were not taking my problems seriously, and ***supervisor 1*** thought it was all a joke.
On 10-20-04 ***supervisor 2*** asked me to meet with her & ***supervisor 1*** that morning. Accused me of doing the schedule too far in advance, ""staff get too anxious when they see a whole months schedule up" (not true, they're not children) & accused me of not filling the schedule (this because of staffing shortages). They added: "You may feel like we're attacking you, but these are things you need to take care of". (My former supervisor & I had been asking Human Resources to advertise for staff for 4 months), so I told them it is not my responsibility if HR isn't doing their job. They didn't begin to advertise until 10-25-04. At that time there was still nothing in the newspaper, just on the internet, as of the date of this writing, there is still no newspaper ad. Also accused me of not using new medical forms, but ***supervisor 1*** was referring to a form that was completed in May, which was before we started using the new ones. Also accused me of: "you & your staff don't even bother to replace the burnt out lightbulbs!" I responded by reminding them that: "Facilities has been testing the building for wiring / electrical problems ... the bulbs burn out too fast, staff were accused of stealing bulbs when in fact the problem is the building. Also, the supply ordering dept. never sent enough lightbulbs. As of Sept. the staff started tracking what bulbs were burnt out & replaced & where.
On 10-20-04 I turned in my resignation to ***supervisor 2*** . Gave 2 weeks notice, offered to do 1 month if needed... they declined.
I had my yearly physical on 10-18-04? and reported everything that had been going on, to my Doctor. He said that he supported my decision to resign, it sounded like a good decision & he added, he was really not surprised as I am not the first person to tell him about **TheAgency** treating their employees badly, but he is appalled that they, being a mental health agency, made no offers to help me work through my job burnout with therapy or by offering another position to me, or anything.
===============================================================
SPECIFICS
===============================================================
consistent poor working conditions & safety issues & disrespect
Maggots in the walls and ceiling 2002, a client had left food rotting in a cabinet. We actually had maggots falling onto our heads. We had to locate source & clean & get rid of maggots.
The house has been rodent infested since we moved there. (Exterminators finally came a month ago.)
Staff are held accountable for client medications & narcotics, yet med cabinets & narcotic locked boxes so cheap, they can be opened with just about any key or hairpin, etc. Issue was been addressed once last year & twice this year & nothing has been done.
Stair treads were loose for 2+ years. People did trip & fall.
Three foot long icicles hung above entrance & exit & fell often (2-story building with full attic). I had to bring a 3 foot icicle to a staff meeting and plop it on the meeting table to prove the size & potential danger before an awning was put up. One staff did get hit in the back (hit his backpack) with a large falling icicle.
Personal vehicles get vomited in & on, urinated in & fecal matter stains on seats. Staff are told to line their car seats with garbage bags for the clients to sit on. (disrespectful to staff & clients, stigmatizing of clients, not nice, potential health hazard d/t bodily fluids)
Consistent insufficient heat (inside temp only reached 55 degrees last winter). (unsafe, potential to be a health hazzard to elderly clients, disrespectful to all having to live or work there)
Over the years there has been a consistent, significant increase in paperwork expectations along with a consistent, significant decrease of the number of staff, and an increase in the number of clients and programs, which leaves less time for actual direct care of the clients.
Staff are expected to keep the front & back porch clean, which involves cleaning vomit daily, and urine at least once weekly... yet it took over a year for the agency to provide a hose for staff to use to clean the urine & vomit.
I told maintenance - facilities people that there was a growing gap between the floor & the wall in the hallway. They dismissed my reports, said it was nothing, and covered the gap with 1/4 round molding. This went on for 2 years, I reported it numerous times. Finally a contractor was hired to look at it & ended up having to jack up the center of the building & pour cement into the foundation & add new beams, as it was collapsing. (unsafe, potential to be life threatening, disrespect by dismissing my report)
No safety lighting inside. Was brought up over a year ago. (unsafe, potential to be life threatening, disrespect)
Staff go out into the community to deliver carded medication, carrying 30 or more cards of meds at a time, yet it took more than 2 years for the agency to get bags for them to carry the meds in. For the 1st year & 1/2 staff had been purchasing the duffle bags on their oun, out of pocket. (disrespectful & not nice)
Constantly questioned & second-guessed about office or household supplies I ordered. Staff are expected to keep FOUR, 5-bedroom apartments, 3 offices + 4 bathrooms & 4 kitchens clean at all times, yet it was literally a 2 year battle before we were allowed to receive a sufficient amount of paper towels.
More recently, staff were given computers to do all paperwork on, yet the supply ordering person, ********, insists on the most inexpensive ink cartridges, which of course contain less ink than the bulk ones, so we run out of ink & cannot do paperwork, which in turn causes the staff to be "spoken to" about doing paperwork in a timely manner".
Similar issue with fax machine. I would order ink, we did not receive the # of ink cartridges I ordered, we would run out, we would not receive important faxes (hospital discharges, etc) (felt unprofessional & foolish having to call & say hi, sorry we're out of ink again, can I come pick up the paperwork?) For a 6 month period of time, the staff were being blamed for misuse of the fax, using all of the ink to make copies, etc. when in fact it was the spam faxes that we were receiving that used the majority of the ink, and the lack of ink in the first place. (disrespect, distrust of staff)
The portable telephones are the cheapest phones available. This becomes a safety issue when you run upstairs to evacuate clients as the smoke detectors are sounding & you go to dial 9-1-1 for fire department, but the phone is so cheap that it does not work. When they do work, they are staticy & unreliable at best. This was reported to the exec. director. Within 2 weeks, we had new, cheap phones, that work just as poorly as the old ones. I contacted the exec director again on the issue, she said we lose phones, which is an untruth.
Never providing enough lightbulbs for the building. For 3 years, administration blamed staff of stealing lightbulbs, when they now suspect a wiring issue is the cause of going through so many lightbulbs. STaff have to actually keep a tracking sheet for lightbulbs that burn out & are replaced, date, time, location, etc ... so they will stop getting accused of stealing.
HR director has extremely poor communication skills. He will explain something, then assume you did not understand his explanation, and explain it again in a different way, then explain it again a third time, (honestly - no exaggeration -- he really did this) so that even if you did understand him the 1st time, you feel completely lost by the end of the 3rd explanation. And although he always appears very attentive, he is definitely NOT a good listener. (poor management, disrespect, blatantly obvious that he assumes all staff are stupid)
Frequently running short staffed d/t lack of Human Resources advertising. This issue has been going on consistently for the past year. Management expects the day & evening staff to work overnight shifts, whether this is planned or unplanned, switch shifts, unwanted overtime, etc.
================================================================
Quotes from job burnout information:
"can be triggered by long hours & herculean tasks or by a sense that one's work isn't good enough or doesn't count." "the problem ... too little recognition" "lack of recognition is a key reason for burnout"
"The insurance company study found that workers who had little control and too many constraints on how to do the job were at a high risk of burnout -- a finding that may come as no surprise to frazzled clerical or assembly line employees. A substantial cut in employee benefits and frequent, mandatory overtime also upped the risk of burnout, as did layoffs, a merger or change of ownership, or other cutbacks."
"the people most likely to succumb are often those with the greatest sense of mission in their work ... resilient & hardy ... they tend to be givers ... they want to contribute and make a difference. These are people who are caring & spiritually generous. They can take on enormous stress as long as long as they have some sense that they are being recognised."
"The reasons for job burnout, the researchers concluded, are varied and complex. In fact, the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) has its own take on what stresses workers to the point of no return. Along with workloads, infrequent breaks and long hours, NIOSH cites a lack of control over your job -- including little or no support from bosses and co-workers and an inability to participate in decision-making. Other factors contributing to stress and burnout may be familiar to many workers: They include job insecurity, too much responsibility or conflicting expectations, and unpleasant or dangerous conditions, such as crowding, noise, or ergonomic problems."
"When someone is burned out, she will probably need help figuring out a way to recuperate. If the problem is overwork, then she might need to ask for an assistant or take an overdue vacation. But time off won't be enough if it means returning to a work situation that leaves her feeling worthless. In that case, it's a good idea to seek professional help. Many companies offer EAPs (Employee Assistance Programs). These are services offering a counseling hotline that workers can call for free. A counselor can help someone identify areas that she might change, for instance, asking for a reassignment or arranging a more flexible schedule. The insurance company survey found that just having an EAP available -- whether or not it was used -- had a salutary effect on workers."
References
Interview with Ruth Luban, a career consultant and author of Burnout: Keeping the Fire.
Interview with Karen Lawson, a management consultant based in suburban Philadelphia
Interview with Michael Leiter, a professor of psychology at Acadia University in Nova Scotia
Christina Maslach and Michael P. Leiter. The Truth About Burnout : How Organizations Cause Personal Stress and What to Do About It. Jossey-Bass: New York, New York: 1997, 256 pp.
Wilmar Schaufeli and Dirk Enzmann. The Burnout Companion to Study and Practice : A Critical Analysis (Issues in Occupational Health). Taylor & Francis: 1998
The Truth About Burnout : How Organizations Cause Personal Stress and What to Do About It, by Christina Maslach and Michael P. Leiter, Jossey-Bass, 1997
When Stress Won't Go Away, by William Atkinson, HR Magazine, December 2000, Vol. 45, No. 12 http://www.shrm.org/hrmagazine/articles/default.asp?page=1200atkinson.htm
Well... that's the write-up that unemployment had me do to explain the situation. **TheAgency** never fought my unemployment claim.
It's a long read, but it is all truth. (Asterics substituted for names.)
After more than 12 years of employment with **TheAgency** , I had to resign because of consistent poor working conditions, safety issues & being treated disrespectfully, which all together resulted in my experiencing numerous physical & emotional symptoms of job burnout.
I went to my supervisor when I realized I was experiencing a great number of job burnout symptoms & told her. I was not offered an alternate position, nor was I offered any counseling. Instead, my direct supervisor made jokes about me needing an antidepressant.
A large number of things contributed to my job burnout;
-recent cut in time off benefits
-frequent, mandatory overtime / having to work on days off
-numerous financial cutbacks
-issue with supplies
-a general sense of job insecurity
-increase in expectations coupled with decrease in staff
-communication issues throughout agency
-too much responsibility
-conflicting expectations
-frequently having to run programs short staffed
-unpleasant working conditions
-dangerous working conditions
-huge workload
-infrequent breaks
-long hours
-lack of control over my job
-little or no support from new supervisor
-constantly questioned & second-guessed about office or household supplies
(especially lightbulbs, paper towels & computer & fax ink)
-inability to participate in decision-making, little recognition for all the work I was doing
-supervisor joking about my job burnout - asked if I had gotten an antidepressant yet
-maggots
-rodents
-fleas
-loose stair treads
-icy parking lot
-lack of salt & sand
-bodily fluids in personal vehicles (vomit, urine, feces)
-2 years reporting foundation collapsing issue ignored
-no safety lighting
-cheap telephones that do not work well causing inability to dial 9-1-1 when needed & nothing was done
-being treated disrespectfully by human resources
resignation facts & dates
August 04 New supervisor. She was supposed to have weekly supervision with me. She consistently meets with the other site manager, for a weekly scheduled supervision. She scheduled one with me, then didn't come, so we had supervision on the phone that day. Did not have any other supervisions, though I did drop in a couple of times to communicate. My workload is twice that of my counterpart who was having weekly supervision. I have more than twice the # of clients & 1 1/2 times the staff to supervise, with little to no support.
New supervisor has bad follow-through. I asked her to speak with a therapist about a client wanting support group for breast cancer, the therapist told my staff to cancel the clients support group appt. A month later, my new supervisor followed up in staff meeting, which was a bit late, as the client had already had her mastectomy 2 weeks prior.
Increasingly more often being asked to come in on my days off. It happened 3 times in Sept / October.
In September I submitted a purchase request for four, $4 calculators for the staff to calculate mileage & for use while grocery shopping with clients. The request was denied. Staff & I had to purchase out of pocket & donate the calculators.
In September, I was given a 5 year service pin after having worked for **TheAgency** for 12+ years.
Physical symptoms I was experiencing:
Stabbing temple headaches daily.
Jaw aches daily d/t clenching jaw / teeth all night, every night (insurance would not cover the dental guard).
Irregular heartbeat diagnosed as premature ventricular contractions (which disappeared the day after my last day of work).
Days I would call out because I just couldn't stand the thought of going in were increasing.
Crying out of stress before going in to work.
Felt like I was busting my butt constantly, & doing more work than ever, yet every time I turned around, I was being told that I wasn't doing enough.
I was having nightmares about work & so not sleeping well. 4-5 hours sleep per night at best.
Dreaded getting out of bed in the AM.
My spouse & I went 5 months without having sexual relations. (I'm sure they had a good laugh after reading this line.)
I was at my breaking point. I'd gone so long doing so much hard work, giving my all & feeling so much stress, with so little recognition, & experiencing so many physical & mental symptoms that my spouse suggested I look up job burnout symptoms on the internet. I did on 9-27-04. This is when I recognised the problem.
During a meeting with ***supervisor 1 & supervisor 2*** I told them I was completely burnt out & felt that I would have to quit within the next few months. I told them I had recently read up on job burnout symptoms & that I have 90% of them, all except I am not doing drugs & I'm not suicidal.
On 10-?-04 ***supervisor 1*** called ***supervisor 2*** at the residential site & told her to ask me if I had started my antidepressant yet. This was said in front of staff, in a joking manner, but I did not find it funny at all. It was clear to me at that point that they were not taking my problems seriously, and ***supervisor 1*** thought it was all a joke.
On 10-20-04 ***supervisor 2*** asked me to meet with her & ***supervisor 1*** that morning. Accused me of doing the schedule too far in advance, ""staff get too anxious when they see a whole months schedule up" (not true, they're not children) & accused me of not filling the schedule (this because of staffing shortages). They added: "You may feel like we're attacking you, but these are things you need to take care of". (My former supervisor & I had been asking Human Resources to advertise for staff for 4 months), so I told them it is not my responsibility if HR isn't doing their job. They didn't begin to advertise until 10-25-04. At that time there was still nothing in the newspaper, just on the internet, as of the date of this writing, there is still no newspaper ad. Also accused me of not using new medical forms, but ***supervisor 1*** was referring to a form that was completed in May, which was before we started using the new ones. Also accused me of: "you & your staff don't even bother to replace the burnt out lightbulbs!" I responded by reminding them that: "Facilities has been testing the building for wiring / electrical problems ... the bulbs burn out too fast, staff were accused of stealing bulbs when in fact the problem is the building. Also, the supply ordering dept. never sent enough lightbulbs. As of Sept. the staff started tracking what bulbs were burnt out & replaced & where.
On 10-20-04 I turned in my resignation to ***supervisor 2*** . Gave 2 weeks notice, offered to do 1 month if needed... they declined.
I had my yearly physical on 10-18-04? and reported everything that had been going on, to my Doctor. He said that he supported my decision to resign, it sounded like a good decision & he added, he was really not surprised as I am not the first person to tell him about **TheAgency** treating their employees badly, but he is appalled that they, being a mental health agency, made no offers to help me work through my job burnout with therapy or by offering another position to me, or anything.
===============================================================
SPECIFICS
===============================================================
consistent poor working conditions & safety issues & disrespect
Maggots in the walls and ceiling 2002, a client had left food rotting in a cabinet. We actually had maggots falling onto our heads. We had to locate source & clean & get rid of maggots.
The house has been rodent infested since we moved there. (Exterminators finally came a month ago.)
Staff are held accountable for client medications & narcotics, yet med cabinets & narcotic locked boxes so cheap, they can be opened with just about any key or hairpin, etc. Issue was been addressed once last year & twice this year & nothing has been done.
Stair treads were loose for 2+ years. People did trip & fall.
Three foot long icicles hung above entrance & exit & fell often (2-story building with full attic). I had to bring a 3 foot icicle to a staff meeting and plop it on the meeting table to prove the size & potential danger before an awning was put up. One staff did get hit in the back (hit his backpack) with a large falling icicle.
Personal vehicles get vomited in & on, urinated in & fecal matter stains on seats. Staff are told to line their car seats with garbage bags for the clients to sit on. (disrespectful to staff & clients, stigmatizing of clients, not nice, potential health hazard d/t bodily fluids)
Consistent insufficient heat (inside temp only reached 55 degrees last winter). (unsafe, potential to be a health hazzard to elderly clients, disrespectful to all having to live or work there)
Over the years there has been a consistent, significant increase in paperwork expectations along with a consistent, significant decrease of the number of staff, and an increase in the number of clients and programs, which leaves less time for actual direct care of the clients.
Staff are expected to keep the front & back porch clean, which involves cleaning vomit daily, and urine at least once weekly... yet it took over a year for the agency to provide a hose for staff to use to clean the urine & vomit.
I told maintenance - facilities people that there was a growing gap between the floor & the wall in the hallway. They dismissed my reports, said it was nothing, and covered the gap with 1/4 round molding. This went on for 2 years, I reported it numerous times. Finally a contractor was hired to look at it & ended up having to jack up the center of the building & pour cement into the foundation & add new beams, as it was collapsing. (unsafe, potential to be life threatening, disrespect by dismissing my report)
No safety lighting inside. Was brought up over a year ago. (unsafe, potential to be life threatening, disrespect)
Staff go out into the community to deliver carded medication, carrying 30 or more cards of meds at a time, yet it took more than 2 years for the agency to get bags for them to carry the meds in. For the 1st year & 1/2 staff had been purchasing the duffle bags on their oun, out of pocket. (disrespectful & not nice)
Constantly questioned & second-guessed about office or household supplies I ordered. Staff are expected to keep FOUR, 5-bedroom apartments, 3 offices + 4 bathrooms & 4 kitchens clean at all times, yet it was literally a 2 year battle before we were allowed to receive a sufficient amount of paper towels.
More recently, staff were given computers to do all paperwork on, yet the supply ordering person, ********, insists on the most inexpensive ink cartridges, which of course contain less ink than the bulk ones, so we run out of ink & cannot do paperwork, which in turn causes the staff to be "spoken to" about doing paperwork in a timely manner".
Similar issue with fax machine. I would order ink, we did not receive the # of ink cartridges I ordered, we would run out, we would not receive important faxes (hospital discharges, etc) (felt unprofessional & foolish having to call & say hi, sorry we're out of ink again, can I come pick up the paperwork?) For a 6 month period of time, the staff were being blamed for misuse of the fax, using all of the ink to make copies, etc. when in fact it was the spam faxes that we were receiving that used the majority of the ink, and the lack of ink in the first place. (disrespect, distrust of staff)
The portable telephones are the cheapest phones available. This becomes a safety issue when you run upstairs to evacuate clients as the smoke detectors are sounding & you go to dial 9-1-1 for fire department, but the phone is so cheap that it does not work. When they do work, they are staticy & unreliable at best. This was reported to the exec. director. Within 2 weeks, we had new, cheap phones, that work just as poorly as the old ones. I contacted the exec director again on the issue, she said we lose phones, which is an untruth.
Never providing enough lightbulbs for the building. For 3 years, administration blamed staff of stealing lightbulbs, when they now suspect a wiring issue is the cause of going through so many lightbulbs. STaff have to actually keep a tracking sheet for lightbulbs that burn out & are replaced, date, time, location, etc ... so they will stop getting accused of stealing.
HR director has extremely poor communication skills. He will explain something, then assume you did not understand his explanation, and explain it again in a different way, then explain it again a third time, (honestly - no exaggeration -- he really did this) so that even if you did understand him the 1st time, you feel completely lost by the end of the 3rd explanation. And although he always appears very attentive, he is definitely NOT a good listener. (poor management, disrespect, blatantly obvious that he assumes all staff are stupid)
Frequently running short staffed d/t lack of Human Resources advertising. This issue has been going on consistently for the past year. Management expects the day & evening staff to work overnight shifts, whether this is planned or unplanned, switch shifts, unwanted overtime, etc.
================================================================
Quotes from job burnout information:
"can be triggered by long hours & herculean tasks or by a sense that one's work isn't good enough or doesn't count." "the problem ... too little recognition" "lack of recognition is a key reason for burnout"
"The insurance company study found that workers who had little control and too many constraints on how to do the job were at a high risk of burnout -- a finding that may come as no surprise to frazzled clerical or assembly line employees. A substantial cut in employee benefits and frequent, mandatory overtime also upped the risk of burnout, as did layoffs, a merger or change of ownership, or other cutbacks."
"the people most likely to succumb are often those with the greatest sense of mission in their work ... resilient & hardy ... they tend to be givers ... they want to contribute and make a difference. These are people who are caring & spiritually generous. They can take on enormous stress as long as long as they have some sense that they are being recognised."
"The reasons for job burnout, the researchers concluded, are varied and complex. In fact, the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) has its own take on what stresses workers to the point of no return. Along with workloads, infrequent breaks and long hours, NIOSH cites a lack of control over your job -- including little or no support from bosses and co-workers and an inability to participate in decision-making. Other factors contributing to stress and burnout may be familiar to many workers: They include job insecurity, too much responsibility or conflicting expectations, and unpleasant or dangerous conditions, such as crowding, noise, or ergonomic problems."
"When someone is burned out, she will probably need help figuring out a way to recuperate. If the problem is overwork, then she might need to ask for an assistant or take an overdue vacation. But time off won't be enough if it means returning to a work situation that leaves her feeling worthless. In that case, it's a good idea to seek professional help. Many companies offer EAPs (Employee Assistance Programs). These are services offering a counseling hotline that workers can call for free. A counselor can help someone identify areas that she might change, for instance, asking for a reassignment or arranging a more flexible schedule. The insurance company survey found that just having an EAP available -- whether or not it was used -- had a salutary effect on workers."
References
Interview with Ruth Luban, a career consultant and author of Burnout: Keeping the Fire.
Interview with Karen Lawson, a management consultant based in suburban Philadelphia
Interview with Michael Leiter, a professor of psychology at Acadia University in Nova Scotia
Christina Maslach and Michael P. Leiter. The Truth About Burnout : How Organizations Cause Personal Stress and What to Do About It. Jossey-Bass: New York, New York: 1997, 256 pp.
Wilmar Schaufeli and Dirk Enzmann. The Burnout Companion to Study and Practice : A Critical Analysis (Issues in Occupational Health). Taylor & Francis: 1998
The Truth About Burnout : How Organizations Cause Personal Stress and What to Do About It, by Christina Maslach and Michael P. Leiter, Jossey-Bass, 1997
When Stress Won't Go Away, by William Atkinson, HR Magazine, December 2000, Vol. 45, No. 12 http://www.shrm.org/hrmagazine/articles/default.asp?page=1200atkinson.htm
Well... that's the write-up that unemployment had me do to explain the situation. **TheAgency** never fought my unemployment claim.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Digging out
Visiting family in upstate NY. I sure timed it well. I think I was complaining recently about the weather being very ... not winter-like ... & while complaining, I went on to say how I remembered the snowstorms of the 70's. Walking outside & all of the steps to the front door were buried. All 5 steps! And now, we've been transported back in time. It's the relentless snow. One storm comes through & buries us. We dig out. And we say, WOW. That's a lot of snow. Schools are closed, stores are closed... Then the weather report informs us that the nor' easter has passed, but there's a band of lake effect snows heading our way. And they sit above us, dumping & dumping. And we dig out. And stores close. And they declare emergency conditions & get federal funding ... & schools cancel february vacations because they've used too many snow days... And I look at the snow banks that are tall as me & wonder how the hell I shoveled all of that... And I think to myself, I KNOW we are all secretly hoping out roofs are strong enough to handle the weight. And now I realize, that the snowstorms I remember from the 70's were much less worrysome, & a heck of a lot more fun.... probably because my job at the time was to play in it, not to shovel it. :-)
Monday, February 5, 2007
The DUMBEST thing I've done ALL YEAR.
Superbowl was last night & we pigged out for hours. Naturally, after the game, we all crashed. Everyone was in a carb-induced food coma. No one felt like cleaning.
This AM I got up with the kids, they went off to school, and I stood there, staring at 2 sinks full of dirty dishes... the remnants of last night's feast.
Several months ago I read about microwaving sponges to kill germs & other nastiness... & I've been tossing my sponges in & nuking them for 2 minutes, just about every day. And I've got to say, I'm really pleased with the results. They don't get gross-feeling, or smelly, so I'm convinced it actually does work.
Leaving dishes overnight always makes the job more difficult, and there are usually a few particularly nasty items you really wish you had rinsed out the night before. When I came across our wooden spoon, that's exactly what I was wishing. It was coated with day-old refried beans & slimy water from a combination of several different beverages & someone's half-hearted attempt of soaking the dishes last night. It was gross. Wood is porous, so I was sure it had all kinds of nasty germs & evil spores on & in it. I thought of throwing the wooden spoon away, but I really like the wooden spoons & I don't like to waste. And THAT'S the moment it hit me! My eyes got wide... my eyebrows rose up ... and I said to myself: "Barb, you're brilliant!"
I walk myself with my slimy wooden spoon over to the microwave, set it for two minutes, (just like the sponges) and walk back to the sink.
Not EVEN a minute later I think to myself ... "what's that smell?" ..... 20 seconds after that, the ENTIRE kitchen & living room are filled with smoke. I turn around & see smoke coming out of every crevace of the microwave. I ran to the microwave & whipped open the door -- no flames, but a PILE of thick, disgusting smoke comes pouring out, into the already choking air. I decide I do not need the extinguisher, I just need air so I run around & open the windows & doors & stand there trying to breathe some fresh air for a minute, thinking to myself ... "man! I'm a dumbass". The air clears enough for me to get the (completely charred) wooden spoon out of the microwave. (At this point, I'm pretty sure it no longer contains ANY germs or evil spores.) I pick it up with our potholder & it immediately falls apart in my hand. Wow.
So, if you ever thought to yourself: "Gee, I wonder how long it would take for a wet, slimy wooden spoon to catch on fire if I put it in the microwave?" The answer is... exactly 1 minute, 15 seconds.
And THAT my friends, is The DUMBEST thing I've done ALL YEAR. (And it's only February.)
This AM I got up with the kids, they went off to school, and I stood there, staring at 2 sinks full of dirty dishes... the remnants of last night's feast.
Several months ago I read about microwaving sponges to kill germs & other nastiness... & I've been tossing my sponges in & nuking them for 2 minutes, just about every day. And I've got to say, I'm really pleased with the results. They don't get gross-feeling, or smelly, so I'm convinced it actually does work.
Leaving dishes overnight always makes the job more difficult, and there are usually a few particularly nasty items you really wish you had rinsed out the night before. When I came across our wooden spoon, that's exactly what I was wishing. It was coated with day-old refried beans & slimy water from a combination of several different beverages & someone's half-hearted attempt of soaking the dishes last night. It was gross. Wood is porous, so I was sure it had all kinds of nasty germs & evil spores on & in it. I thought of throwing the wooden spoon away, but I really like the wooden spoons & I don't like to waste. And THAT'S the moment it hit me! My eyes got wide... my eyebrows rose up ... and I said to myself: "Barb, you're brilliant!"
I walk myself with my slimy wooden spoon over to the microwave, set it for two minutes, (just like the sponges) and walk back to the sink.
Not EVEN a minute later I think to myself ... "what's that smell?" ..... 20 seconds after that, the ENTIRE kitchen & living room are filled with smoke. I turn around & see smoke coming out of every crevace of the microwave. I ran to the microwave & whipped open the door -- no flames, but a PILE of thick, disgusting smoke comes pouring out, into the already choking air. I decide I do not need the extinguisher, I just need air so I run around & open the windows & doors & stand there trying to breathe some fresh air for a minute, thinking to myself ... "man! I'm a dumbass". The air clears enough for me to get the (completely charred) wooden spoon out of the microwave. (At this point, I'm pretty sure it no longer contains ANY germs or evil spores.) I pick it up with our potholder & it immediately falls apart in my hand. Wow.
So, if you ever thought to yourself: "Gee, I wonder how long it would take for a wet, slimy wooden spoon to catch on fire if I put it in the microwave?" The answer is... exactly 1 minute, 15 seconds.
And THAT my friends, is The DUMBEST thing I've done ALL YEAR. (And it's only February.)
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Coping with a fear of flying
A nightmare, many years ago, of being in a plane that was going down. I remember feeling it. The pressure in my stomach from the rapid, uncontrolled descent that seemed to go on forever. It was one of those dreams that feels so realistic, you have no choice but to think it either already happened, or would happen in your future.
I think that dream is what started my intense fear of flying.
I've actually flown several times. Once as a kid, I remember it feeling strange, but otherwise it wasn't an issue. I was probably 4 years old.
As an adult, each time I flew, I was locked tense the entire trip. I can't move, I can't eat, can't read, nothing... I just sit, staring out the window. My view of the ground & the clouds is the only bit of control -- the only bit of sanity -- the only 'I'm OK for this moment' -- that I have. On an 8 hour flight, as you can imagine... it's pretty rough.
So the last time I went, I decided to let my doctor know about the anxieties beforehand. She prescribed me a few Ativan to take before & during the flight.
So I've got Ativan in me but I'm doing worse than ever. So I buy one of those mini bottles of wine & take a few sips. I am now in a calm haze. Not 'OK' really, but coping.
Layover in Minnesota ... outside to get air & a smoke ... "I'm not getting back on," I say. Let's
rent a car. A car? It's snowing. Are you nuts? We're 3 hours from home... or 3 days if
we drive....
So we go back in. Since we'd gone outside, we had to go through the whole safety check / security line again. Wouldn't you know it, I get randomly chosen to be pulled from the line of hundreds of suspicious-looking characters. While I'm standing there barefoot, being felt-up by one of the not-so-bad-looking security people because the rivets in my jeans set off the wand, I wonder what's next ... & think to myself ..... "is this a sign?"
They decide I'm not a threat to the public after they've have searched every inch of me & my carry-on & finally allow me to put my Nike's back on. We power-walk the 1/2 mile to our gate. The plane has already been loading but we get there in time. I take a deep breath. They take my boarding pass & scan it & it beeps. The guy tries it again. Beep-p-p-p-p. He gets on the phone & calls someone, he speaks quietly so I have no idea who he called or what's going on. The security person who had gotten to know me so well 10 minutes earlier, shows up & tells him I had gone through the checkpoint & everything should be fine. He says he can't let me on without them fixing my ticket.
We power-walk the 1/2 mile back to the security area, they scan my ticket, & we power walk back to the gate again.
Another deep breath.
Scan. Beep-p-p-p-p. They look at each other, shrug, & tell me to go ahead.
This I find very comforting... and once again I'm wondering, is this a sign? Am I supposed to not get on this plane?
We get on. We sit.
Now keep in mind, my buzz is COMPLETELY gone by now. I need to self-medicate. I pull the 1/2 full mini-bottle of wine out of my carry-on & take a sip. I sit... & pray.
A very effeminate male flight attendant is offering beverages to the passengers. He gets to us & I'm just sitting there like a stone, clutching my wine. I say: "no thank you, I don't need a beverage right now". He looks down at my white knuckles, still clutching my white zinfandel. He snarls like a woman scorned & says: "where'd you get a-that!?" "On our last plane..." I replied. "Well..." in an even snottier tone, he says: "you shouldn't have been allowed to, it's against the rules!" I told him they had checked my carry-on & no one said anything. "well, they should have, you can't bring wine from one plane to another". He whined. They were both Delta planes I told him. "It doesn't matter, it's against the rules, you can't keep it ..." & he held out his hand.
Now this partial-ounce of wine cost me four bucks, & I'm not one to waste... so I look him in the eye, twist off the mini cap, chug the 1/2 bottle, and hand it to him empty. His response was a disgusted sounding: "oh... that's nice" (with a neck-roll). I respond to his highness by telling him that I would like a beverage after all. And I order another bottle.
The dink brought me my wine, took my $4 and I didn't see him again.
The plane took off & my self-medicating techniques started kicking in & the flight home was actually really nice. Beautiful sunset. I found that to be quite calming... (yes, I'm sure it was the sunset & not the alcohol.)
Well, that was the last time I was on an airplane. So, how does a person cope with a fear of flying? Prescription drugs, alcohol, & several distractions. That, and vowing to never fly again.
I think that dream is what started my intense fear of flying.
I've actually flown several times. Once as a kid, I remember it feeling strange, but otherwise it wasn't an issue. I was probably 4 years old.
As an adult, each time I flew, I was locked tense the entire trip. I can't move, I can't eat, can't read, nothing... I just sit, staring out the window. My view of the ground & the clouds is the only bit of control -- the only bit of sanity -- the only 'I'm OK for this moment' -- that I have. On an 8 hour flight, as you can imagine... it's pretty rough.
So the last time I went, I decided to let my doctor know about the anxieties beforehand. She prescribed me a few Ativan to take before & during the flight.
So I've got Ativan in me but I'm doing worse than ever. So I buy one of those mini bottles of wine & take a few sips. I am now in a calm haze. Not 'OK' really, but coping.
Layover in Minnesota ... outside to get air & a smoke ... "I'm not getting back on," I say. Let's
rent a car. A car? It's snowing. Are you nuts? We're 3 hours from home... or 3 days if
we drive....
So we go back in. Since we'd gone outside, we had to go through the whole safety check / security line again. Wouldn't you know it, I get randomly chosen to be pulled from the line of hundreds of suspicious-looking characters. While I'm standing there barefoot, being felt-up by one of the not-so-bad-looking security people because the rivets in my jeans set off the wand, I wonder what's next ... & think to myself ..... "is this a sign?"
They decide I'm not a threat to the public after they've have searched every inch of me & my carry-on & finally allow me to put my Nike's back on. We power-walk the 1/2 mile to our gate. The plane has already been loading but we get there in time. I take a deep breath. They take my boarding pass & scan it & it beeps. The guy tries it again. Beep-p-p-p-p. He gets on the phone & calls someone, he speaks quietly so I have no idea who he called or what's going on. The security person who had gotten to know me so well 10 minutes earlier, shows up & tells him I had gone through the checkpoint & everything should be fine. He says he can't let me on without them fixing my ticket.
We power-walk the 1/2 mile back to the security area, they scan my ticket, & we power walk back to the gate again.
Another deep breath.
Scan. Beep-p-p-p-p. They look at each other, shrug, & tell me to go ahead.
This I find very comforting... and once again I'm wondering, is this a sign? Am I supposed to not get on this plane?
We get on. We sit.
Now keep in mind, my buzz is COMPLETELY gone by now. I need to self-medicate. I pull the 1/2 full mini-bottle of wine out of my carry-on & take a sip. I sit... & pray.
A very effeminate male flight attendant is offering beverages to the passengers. He gets to us & I'm just sitting there like a stone, clutching my wine. I say: "no thank you, I don't need a beverage right now". He looks down at my white knuckles, still clutching my white zinfandel. He snarls like a woman scorned & says: "where'd you get a-that!?" "On our last plane..." I replied. "Well..." in an even snottier tone, he says: "you shouldn't have been allowed to, it's against the rules!" I told him they had checked my carry-on & no one said anything. "well, they should have, you can't bring wine from one plane to another". He whined. They were both Delta planes I told him. "It doesn't matter, it's against the rules, you can't keep it ..." & he held out his hand.
Now this partial-ounce of wine cost me four bucks, & I'm not one to waste... so I look him in the eye, twist off the mini cap, chug the 1/2 bottle, and hand it to him empty. His response was a disgusted sounding: "oh... that's nice" (with a neck-roll). I respond to his highness by telling him that I would like a beverage after all. And I order another bottle.
The dink brought me my wine, took my $4 and I didn't see him again.
The plane took off & my self-medicating techniques started kicking in & the flight home was actually really nice. Beautiful sunset. I found that to be quite calming... (yes, I'm sure it was the sunset & not the alcohol.)
Well, that was the last time I was on an airplane. So, how does a person cope with a fear of flying? Prescription drugs, alcohol, & several distractions. That, and vowing to never fly again.
GrammaBurp Proverb
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Smack him upside the head with a 4 lb bass
& he'll gut it & cook it his damn self."
and THAT'S, a GrammaBurp Proverb
Smack him upside the head with a 4 lb bass
& he'll gut it & cook it his damn self."
and THAT'S, a GrammaBurp Proverb
Friday, January 26, 2007
The GrammaBurp Story
How It All Started ...
When I was 13, my friend Kim broke her leg. Apparently there'd been some unnecessary roughness during a soccer game. She asked me to sign her cast. I'd never signed a cast before, so I looked to see what the other kids had written. There were names, happy faces and other "heal fast" wishes. I wrote: "Hit her back." Well, Kim laughed -- really hard -- & so did her mom. I really wasn't trying to be funny, I just wanted to write the right thing.
Over the years, whenever a card was being passed around at work for everyone to sign, I became well known for writing very 'different' things. People actually waited to see what I had written.
I'll never forget the first card idea I sold. It was a humorous get well card. Oatmeal Studios bought it. The best part of selling it was knowing that potentially thousands of people would feel the healing power of laughter, because of the card I wrote. There's something amazing in that.
Then one day while browsing the internet, I saw some old black & white snapshots. The photos spoke to me. I started hearing funny captions that would go along with them, so I bought the photos.
When I resigned from my thirteen year human services job & decided to start my own business, I'd already had photos, poetry & greeting cards published. I attended Berkshire Enterprises, an intensive entrepreneurial training program in Pittsfield, MA. They provided me with practical business knowledge & gave me the tools & skills I needed to develop, operate and manage my own business. I did a ton of market research. And with their help I developed my implementation strategies & wrote my business plan.
Well, that's how it all started. If only I had figured it out way back when I was signing the cast on Kim's leg.
Oh, & in case you were wondering, the business name "GrammaBurp" came about after my granddaughter was born. My son-in-law was in Iraq, so my daughter & baby Nora were staying with us. Nora didn't always burp after feedings, but for some reason, I was almost always able to get her to burp -- even when everyone else had failed. So every 4 hours or so, my daughter would call out: "Gramma ... Burp!" And it just stuck.
When I was 13, my friend Kim broke her leg. Apparently there'd been some unnecessary roughness during a soccer game. She asked me to sign her cast. I'd never signed a cast before, so I looked to see what the other kids had written. There were names, happy faces and other "heal fast" wishes. I wrote: "Hit her back." Well, Kim laughed -- really hard -- & so did her mom. I really wasn't trying to be funny, I just wanted to write the right thing.
Over the years, whenever a card was being passed around at work for everyone to sign, I became well known for writing very 'different' things. People actually waited to see what I had written.
I'll never forget the first card idea I sold. It was a humorous get well card. Oatmeal Studios bought it. The best part of selling it was knowing that potentially thousands of people would feel the healing power of laughter, because of the card I wrote. There's something amazing in that.
Then one day while browsing the internet, I saw some old black & white snapshots. The photos spoke to me. I started hearing funny captions that would go along with them, so I bought the photos.
When I resigned from my thirteen year human services job & decided to start my own business, I'd already had photos, poetry & greeting cards published. I attended Berkshire Enterprises, an intensive entrepreneurial training program in Pittsfield, MA. They provided me with practical business knowledge & gave me the tools & skills I needed to develop, operate and manage my own business. I did a ton of market research. And with their help I developed my implementation strategies & wrote my business plan.
Well, that's how it all started. If only I had figured it out way back when I was signing the cast on Kim's leg.
Oh, & in case you were wondering, the business name "GrammaBurp" came about after my granddaughter was born. My son-in-law was in Iraq, so my daughter & baby Nora were staying with us. Nora didn't always burp after feedings, but for some reason, I was almost always able to get her to burp -- even when everyone else had failed. So every 4 hours or so, my daughter would call out: "Gramma ... Burp!" And it just stuck.
Another one of our new fridge magnets ...
My retailers tell me this one FLIES off the shelves. I asked: "Is it mostly college kids?" They said: "No ... you'd be surprised at who is buying them!"
:-)
LAUGHING myself to sleep
Y'all know how it goes, you hit one site, which leads you to another & another & it's HIGHLY entertaining & we love it!!! That's why we're all internet addicts .... ANYWAY my 'go to bed early' campaign lasted about as long as my last diet, and here I am.... Rosie's blog is always a good read, decent links too, today I click on john mayer's blog link & OH MY GOD ... I had NO IDEA the guy was so freakin funny! .... & that, of course, lead me to stand-up comedian Dov Davidoff's blog. & I nearly wet myself.
Check 'em out .... enjoy!
Goin' to bed now .... hopefully.
Check 'em out .... enjoy!
Goin' to bed now .... hopefully.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
How 13 years became 5 years.
I have always had a problem with authority - I don't like following other peoples rules... that's part of the reason I started my own business. I worked for a mental health agency for 13 years. I was one of the little guys who did the hardest work & received a salary that was very, very difficult to live on. We (the little guys) all felt as though we were doing God's work. Fighting the good fight. Standing up for the people who couldn't stand up for themselves. Advocating for them so they didn't get completely fucked over by society. One of the most amazing things that happened to me during that time was something I completely didn't expect. A client came up to me in the grocery store & said: "I'll never forget what you did for me, you saved my life. "Huh?" I said. The Doctors said I would've died if I'd gotten to the hospital even one minute later." Now, I didn't think I had done anything special. None of us ever did really. 90% of the time, the days were uneventful. The most important thing we did on a daily basis was spend time with people. They really did appreciate us just being there. About 1/2 the staff truly cared about the clients. And we'd do everything we could for them. The extra stuff that no one else would do. Shoveling snow or cleaning for them, bringing meals, bringing holiday gifts or when we knew they were broke & out of cigarettes, we'd get them some (& it was against the rules to give gifts or smokes). And when emergencies happened, you'd assess the situation, make a decision, do what you had to do & get back to the regular daily stuff. So the woman who told me I had saved her life took me by surprise because I didn't really think much of the situation when it happened. She was having a medical issue, it was obvious. I happened to be at her neighbors, giving him his medications. I had 2 choices - drive her to the hospital 1/2 mile away, or call an ambulance 10 minutes away. I flew them up there, dropped them off & went back to work. See what I mean? And that's happened a few times... well, not that specifically, but that kind of thing. The rewards from that job were "feel-good" rewards. Never monetary.
Over the course of those 13 years, I learned a lot about life. And I learned a lot about how not to run a business.
It all ended on the day they inter-office mailed me one of those big yellow envelopes with holes in it -- with 100 previous reciepients names all crossed off. Inside the envelope was a "Thank you for you continued service to the agency", photocopied letter. There was also a gift. A service pin that I was to wear proudly on my lapel. The pin said: "dedicated service award - 5 years". FIVE YEARS? FIVE YEARS!?! Are they fucking serious!?! So naturally, I lost it. I was laughing! I was in shock. I was pacing. I was staring out the window of the shitty office I had spent so many years of my life coming in & out of... and I knew. "That's it." I said. "That's the last straw." The other staff were silent, wide-eyed, eyebrows-raised. "I'm not doing this anymore". I said.
13 years & they had finally broken me. Shortly thereafter I turned in my 2 week notice / letter of resignation, packed my shit & never NEVER looked back.
There's a heck of a lot more to the story, which I may or may not get into as I blog. But what you just read, is the overview, the general gist of things. And that's how 13 years, became 5 years.
Over the course of those 13 years, I learned a lot about life. And I learned a lot about how not to run a business.
It all ended on the day they inter-office mailed me one of those big yellow envelopes with holes in it -- with 100 previous reciepients names all crossed off. Inside the envelope was a "Thank you for you continued service to the agency", photocopied letter. There was also a gift. A service pin that I was to wear proudly on my lapel. The pin said: "dedicated service award - 5 years". FIVE YEARS? FIVE YEARS!?! Are they fucking serious!?! So naturally, I lost it. I was laughing! I was in shock. I was pacing. I was staring out the window of the shitty office I had spent so many years of my life coming in & out of... and I knew. "That's it." I said. "That's the last straw." The other staff were silent, wide-eyed, eyebrows-raised. "I'm not doing this anymore". I said.
13 years & they had finally broken me. Shortly thereafter I turned in my 2 week notice / letter of resignation, packed my shit & never NEVER looked back.
There's a heck of a lot more to the story, which I may or may not get into as I blog. But what you just read, is the overview, the general gist of things. And that's how 13 years, became 5 years.
Second Life
I recently discovered SecondLife.com. If you haven't tried it, I would recommend it. Kind of awkward at first, like learning to walk ... pointless and a spectacular waste of time, but it's a whole new world & actually kind of fun. Quotes from the other night while I was playing it, while on the phone with my daughter; "holy shit! I can fly!" ... "oops, sorry dude, didn't mean to slam into you like that" ... "hey! I saw this wicked cool house & they had a pool with a spiral slide, so I landed in it to take a quick dip & those bastards had me teleported! How rude." ... "Ummm, I'm walking around in my underwear" ... "how the hell do I get out of here?" ... You get the idea.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
What do YOU want to be when you grow up?
What do YOU want to be when you grow up?
How many times did we hear that question. And what's the point?
Here's what I think;
10% of us have parents who tell us what we're going to be. No choice involved there.
50% of of don't figure out 'what we want to be when we grow up' until our 30's or 40's.
20% of us never figure it out.
20% actually know what we want, what we love more than anything... since childhood... predestined. Like my brother, who as a 4 year old, would point to airplanes flying overhead & say "that's gonna be me someday!". (Yes, he pilots commercial planes now.)
Me? I'm 41 and I'm still figuring it out. I always said "I can do a little bit of everything" But I was never an expert at anything. More recently I've accepted the fact that I get bored easily. And because I'm a little good at a lot of things, I'm really not so worried anymore about what I'm gonna be when I grow up. I know that, for me, there may not be just one right thing. If I live long enough, I may have the opportunity to be many things. It's like having many lives within one. And it's a good thing.
How many times did we hear that question. And what's the point?
Here's what I think;
10% of us have parents who tell us what we're going to be. No choice involved there.
50% of of don't figure out 'what we want to be when we grow up' until our 30's or 40's.
20% of us never figure it out.
20% actually know what we want, what we love more than anything... since childhood... predestined. Like my brother, who as a 4 year old, would point to airplanes flying overhead & say "that's gonna be me someday!". (Yes, he pilots commercial planes now.)
Me? I'm 41 and I'm still figuring it out. I always said "I can do a little bit of everything" But I was never an expert at anything. More recently I've accepted the fact that I get bored easily. And because I'm a little good at a lot of things, I'm really not so worried anymore about what I'm gonna be when I grow up. I know that, for me, there may not be just one right thing. If I live long enough, I may have the opportunity to be many things. It's like having many lives within one. And it's a good thing.
New fridge magnets
One of our new fridge magnets. The design has been one of our best selling greeting cards for a while now, so I thought it'd make a thuper fridge magnet novelty item :-)
Comments welcome, let me know what y'all think.
Embracing fears & thoughts of inadequacy.
"I never felt comfortable with myself, because I was never part of the majority. I always felt awkward and shy and on the outside of the momentum of my friends' lives... I had to essentially get over my fear of running through the world naked and say, 'take me or leave me.' "
Steven Spielberg
I can SO relate to Mr. Spielberg in what he says there. The only difference being that he has grabbed hold of his fears & thoughts of inadequacy & he's embraced them & used them. I'm still working on it. What a challenge.
He also said, "I dream for a living."
I don't know what it is... maybe because my brain has rested, but in the morning ... I get up & I'm all over the place. My brain is going 100 MPH -- imagining situations, random thoughts -- craziness all of it. If you were to see me 1st thing in the morning, you'd know. One-woman conversations, & usually laughing out loud at myself. But, it's definitely the time of day that I get the most done.... well, once I settle down & stop talking to myself. The AM is when I write my best cards.
I remember my parents telling me that my teachers were 'concerned' because I was not paying attention enough in class. They called it 'daydreaming'.
Parents: Don't let your children's teachers punish your kid for daydreaming. It's a sign of creativity. They can't stop it & even if they wanted to, they shouldn't. It's a good thing.
Steven Spielberg
I can SO relate to Mr. Spielberg in what he says there. The only difference being that he has grabbed hold of his fears & thoughts of inadequacy & he's embraced them & used them. I'm still working on it. What a challenge.
He also said, "I dream for a living."
I don't know what it is... maybe because my brain has rested, but in the morning ... I get up & I'm all over the place. My brain is going 100 MPH -- imagining situations, random thoughts -- craziness all of it. If you were to see me 1st thing in the morning, you'd know. One-woman conversations, & usually laughing out loud at myself. But, it's definitely the time of day that I get the most done.... well, once I settle down & stop talking to myself. The AM is when I write my best cards.
I remember my parents telling me that my teachers were 'concerned' because I was not paying attention enough in class. They called it 'daydreaming'.
Parents: Don't let your children's teachers punish your kid for daydreaming. It's a sign of creativity. They can't stop it & even if they wanted to, they shouldn't. It's a good thing.
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