braless boob bouncing arm flailing crazy woman

I was having a good, lazy day. Never even bothered to put shoes or a bra on yesterday. I hate bras. Minding my own business. I went outside to smoke. One of our cats came out when I did.
As I sit down & light up, a pair of birds start chirping. Flying around together - bouncing around inside the branches of our lilac bush. Together, they're playing. Play-boxing, flirting, playing tag ... I don't know. They're practically on top of each other, making lots of noise, obviously having an awesome time on the first day of summer.
But I've seen this before. I know what happens next.
The pair of birds lands in the road at the end of our driveway. My cat that came outside with me is crouching now - in attack mode. I yell at the cat - she ignores me - as I knew she would, so I go running down the driveway. I MUST reach the happy birds before the cat does. Barefoot & braless, I'm running, flailing my arms, yelling at the birds: "go-on! - git! - get out of here!" She didn't pounce in time. I scared the shit out of the pair of birds. They flew off screaming obscenities at me in Spanish. I smile, knowing I have saved the birds from a truly painful death, I pivot to lecture the cat & head back to my cigarette. It was then that I saw our mailman, staring, jaw dropped. So naturally, I see the hilarity of it all & I start laughing ... which I'm sure added to his curiosity about my level of sanity - & whether or not he'd be safe walking up our driveway to deliver the mail.
Dor's outside now. I tell her the story - through my bursts of uncontrolled giggling - my head shaking back & forth - "I don't know if he's going to deliver the mail today." I tell her. We're sitting together now, smoking, as he slowly, cautiously walks up the driveway. He reaches us, hands Dor the mail (even though I had my hand out). He looks scared. Dor says to him: "She's not really a crazy person, she just plays one on TV." And we all shared a good laugh.