Adoptive Parents NEED NOT FEAR losing their adult child to a birthparent

I just watched part of a TV show called An Adoption Story. The prospective adoptive parents expressed concern because they "heard about adopted children growing up & leaving them to find their birth parents" ... and they "didn't want to put all that effort into raising a child only to have them leave". My first reaction was: "Oh my God, what an insecure dick!" And after thinking about it for ... oh, maybe 10 seconds, I realized I had to say something.

I understand. They just don't know. They've got no adopted friends, no experience with it. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a concern for them. They ended up adopting from Korea. Partly, I think, to alleviate their concerns about "putting all that effort into raising a child only to have him / her leave someday".

Ya, the guy pissed me off. FIRST of all, if you're a good, loving parent, and you do your best, your child isn't going to leave you. SECONDLY, for an adoptee, the need to know where you came from is natural, and not necessarily a bad thing.

My birth parents are both good people, both were too young to raise me when I was born.

My parents wanted nothing more than to have children. They loved me & gave me (and my brother - also adopted) an awesome childhood.

Both birth parents, when I met them, asked if I'd had a good childhood.

Yes.

I love my parents. My parents will always be, my parents. My mom & dad.

I'm one of the lucky ones -- who was able to find & meet my birth families. I've built relationships with them, and I love many of them too. But that love absolutely does not take from the love - the bond - the relationship I have with my parents & my brother.

I hope that this blog is found, by people who are considering adoption. People who fear losing a child they raised.
If you're that person, please hear me when I say this ... LOVE your child. And you will not lose them. Be HONEST with them from day one. UNDERSTAND that they may NEED to know where they came from biologically. SUPPORT them in that. And you won't lose them.