That's when I knew.

Two days after my friend passed away it started. I got new orders, & re-orders every day, for a week straight. Usually I get a few orders a month - a few new accounts, and a few re-orders. It could have been coincidence, but it sure didn't feel like like coincidence. I was running out of cards.

I always ask retailers how they heard of us, whether they're calling for a catalog or placing an order - to find out which of our advertising methods is working best. On one of the new orders I got that week, I asked the woman: "How'd you hear of us?" She said: "It was the strangest thing ... I wasn't even looking for greeting cards -- I was looking for candles..." That's when I knew. (We are not associated with any candle sites - not so much as a link.)

I called my friend's sister & asked if anything weird was going on there too. She told me several different things ... important items that had been lost, reappearing ... the kids hearing her voice through the computer speakers ... widower & his new girlfriend having the shit scared out of them when huge pots fall off of the stove & go crashing to the floor for no reason... (which I found hilarious because I can totally see my friend doing that & laughing).

When we lose someone, we like to think they're in heaven, enjoying the all-you-can-eat buffet, their favorite music, friends, family, peace & love all around them ...

If when we leave our earthly bodies, we're given a choice, to go on up, or stick around & help out ... or just be mischevious for a while, I KNOW my friend chose to stick around.

A Perfect Night - a simple night - An Appreciated Night

I lost an old friend 2 weeks ago. One of my best friends from high school. I never saw it coming. I had removed myself from my hometown.

We stayed in touch sporadically over the years. Time did fly by though. I know we both thought of each other more than we talked, but we tried. She called me 2 months ago out of the blue. We talked about life & family ... children & God. Before hanging up she said she loved me. I told her I loved her too.

This isn't supposed to happen to 41 year old moms. It really threw me for a loop.

Tonight we had us, our 2 teenagers, my daughter, her 2 babies, my sister in law, and her 2 kids over. An evening full of screaming, diapers, crying, running, Smores, and Lincoln Log mansions.

With all of it's imperfections, it was a perfect night.

I know who killed me

Thinking it was a different movie, we accidentally watched I Know Who Killed Me with Lindsay Lohan. I don't generally watch psycho-thriller-blood-n-gore-murder movies ... mostly because the edge-of-your-seat thing bugs me. For me, it feels like anxiety - plain & simple. I don't enjoy anxiety.

That being said, I did enjoy the end story ... the twist made this one special.

However ... movie-watchers are a saavy bunch. We know when we're being cheated. The editors screwed up blatantly in part of the movie, where the star has already lost a limb, yet -- POOF -- her sleeve is loose & there it is! And lots of dark, motion-filled scenes made me think ... geez, they're making me use my imagination a little too much here. THEY"RE supposed to be telling the story. Almost as though they didn't have enough cash to build a proper set.

Some of the scenes were too long & drawn out, while other important ones were over in the blink of an eye.

So ... ya.

Not thrilled with this one.

Treasure Hunting Grown-Ups!

Treasure Hunting Grown-Ups!

Last summer we discovered Geocaching.

Awesome.

It was a good day.

Took Nora to visit my dad today in NY. On our way we stopped in to see my friend Donna. Nora was thrilled. She talked about Donna & Donnas birthday & how she thinks big girls should have parties too & Donna's necklace for 10 minutes straight.

Dad was really happy to see Nora. He got a really big hug from her before she took off running for the play room (which used to be my room). We chatted a bit, then dad had me help him take down some of the storm windows on the back porch & carry them to the shed at the back of the yard. It's < a half acre, but it seemed strangely larger today. Probably because Nora was roaming around freely out there - and it made me realize how good I had it as a kid.

Behind the shed is ... woods ... as far as you can see. So many memories - all seasons. Deer. Dangerous sledding. Hiking. Forts. Tree climbing - sap always - stuck to my palms. Our pets are buried back there. Nora asked (pointing to the woods): "Can I go in there?" "Sure!" I said. As I followed her around, she explored the wonder of the spring woods. Branches cracking under her feet. Tripping. Laughing. Leaves. Things to look inside & underneath & up at. We were in heaven.

She found an old plastic sit-on airplane toy thing - we dragged it out of the woods, hosed it off, emptied it of the water that had infiltrated it - and she sat down. She sat on it for a minute - thinking. Then she said: "Burpy ... I don't know how to fly the airplane in the sky." I did my best to explain that it was a toy & she had to pretend to fly... That's when my dad saved the day. He came walking over - tied a rope around the front - and dragged Nora around the yard on it. As Nora 'flew' around the yard, looking up toward the sky & smiling, I had flashbacks of him pulling Krissy around. (Nora looks exactly like Krissy did at this age.) Then dad said: "so Barbra, you taking this home with ya?" No dad, lets leave it here. "OK then, I'll bring it to the car for ya."

Funny guy my dad. He pulled Nora all the way to the front yard on it, parked it next to my car. And now it's on my front lawn.

We ate. Well, Nora ate. I was gonna have some Hembolds hot dogs, until I saw the label that said "natural sheep casing" - so I couldn't do it. We played PlayDoh. And Nora slept all the way home.

All in all ... aside from the fact that Dor hogged ALL of the coffee this morning ... the day turned out great.

I would like to have a yard where cars don't fly by - with trees & woods ... Someplace safe - where the kids can go out & play ... and have what I had. It was awesome.

WholesaleCrafts Featured Artist!

WholesaleCrafts.com featured our HOORAY! I SURVIVED THE BUSH ERA fridge magnet!

More movies

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. I give this movie an A, if for no other reason, becasue Brad Pitt is so easy on the eyes. I do love a good western. This movie takes you to another place - another time. I very much enjoyed it.

Becoming Jane. Another 'A' ... Loved it. Amazing acting. Amazing story.

Martian Child. A+ on this one. Not just because we've been foster parents for so long & could relate ... not to say that I think our parenting skills come anywhere close to the man in this movie ... but because more of these stories need to be told, and children like this need to be heard.

Catch and Release. Entertaining. Great story. 'B+'

Kurt Cobain: About a Son. I was disappointed at first, because there were no Kurt pictures or performances. But After watching the 'behind the scenes' stuff, I understood, no, more than "understood" ... I got it. It's imperative to see the special features. A Strong B+ - especially for any Nirvana fan.

No Reservations. Entertaining. Enjoyable. 'B'

Mommy doesn't want you running around in just your underwear.

Ah, the freedoms of being a child.

The first thing my 3 1/2 yr old granddaughter does when she walks in the house is strip. Off come the shoes, socks & pants. Every time.

Yesterday, she came in. Backpack off. Coat off. Sneakers off. Socks off. Pants off. In her shirt & undies, she takes off running for the living room. We say to her: "Your mommy doesn’t want you running around in just your underwear."

Her response?

"Well, how about I just walk then."

kanye hands

Lift Me Up Cards - plastic surgery humor & get well WOOHOO!

Camie Dunbar of Lift Me Up Cards - a greeting card friend of mine - is FAMOUS!!!!!

Her card designs were featured on TELEVISION!!!

NBC

omg!!!!

click here to watch the segment

How freakin cool!

Bad VooDoo's War - A MUST SEE

Click Here to watch an awesome video - PBS - Bad Voodoo’s War - A group of soldiers - in Iraq now. Their cameras. Their stories. Their daily lives. Their truths. This completely blew me away.

Something in between ...

I have always known in my heart that I am not supposed to be poor. And I spent many years waiting for the cash to rain down on me. It took a long time to see ... it's not just a matter of fate ... a suitcase full of cash is NOT going to fall from the sky & land in my yard ... and the lottery numbers are not going to be on the ticket I hold in my hand.

I'm sure I wouldn't want to win the lottery anyway. Those sudden multi-millionaires always end up losing everything else they had that was good in their lives ... kind of in exchange for the cash. A cruel joke.

I don't want that.

I HAVE spent over 2 years in the same pair of sneakers. The only footwear I owned.

Watching TV - MTV Cribs - closets full of shit they'll wear once.

UGH.

I don't want that life either -- the life of excess. Wasteful.

Jury Duty ~ AKA ~ I doe wanna!

The dreaded summons. Jury duty. Oh, balls. I really feel that people should not be forced to serve jury duty. There should be a way to excuse yourself, at least a certain number of times in a lifetime. And, is it just me... or do they seem to pull the same people, over & over ... while others never get that wonderful little postcard.

So I get called to serve jury duty. As my granddaughter says: "I doe wanna!" So I do the 1 year extention thing. My year comes up this past November, & guess what ... I still doe wanna. So I oversleep, don’t feel great, call & try to get a human being at the court - impossible - they finally call me back that afternoon - I ask if they’re gonna arrest me - no the guy says, just come in sometime soon - come as a drop-in, just call the juror line (the recording) first ... we’ll count that.
So I do. I call almost 3 times a week. They never need jurors when I call. Then it’s Christmas vacation, the juror recording says the message will be updated in a month. OK.... so NOW they’ll probably arrest me...

I get a postcard that says HEY IDIOT you blew off jury duty ... you really shouldn’t do that ... Call this number & they’ll give you a new date. So I call. The woman with a thick hispanic (?) accent on the phone proceeds to have a bitch-fest on my ass, treating me like a moron, a child being scolded ... "jew better make chure jew show up for dis jury duty ..." I explained that I had been calling so I could do the drop-in thing like the court officer told me to, she yells: "Jew can’t do dat! (ok.... ??? ... whatever.) As she continued to briefly lecture me about what an irresponsible person I was, & how I shouldn’t fuck with them, I realize that this bitch held my fate in her hands ... so I had to say yessum, no ma’am... blah blah blah ... Then she realized, as she’s franticly typing away at her keyboard... that there really were no available dates for jurors (like I was saying) for another month +. "Here’s your new date. Jew make chure jew show up dis time!" Was the last thing she said to me.

It’s juvenile court, and my foster son has a case he’s been called in for - because this boy in middle school had been bullying him, and once the bully boy & his wonderful mother realized there were actual consequences, (kicked out of school & other legal issues ...) they decide to turn everything around & blame it all on the victims. So the bully boy & his wonderful mom, take MY foster son & another small, meek boy to court.

*So we the jurors are sitting in a group & we’re all told the basics about the case before the court that day. Then 1 at a time we get to stand up & say if we feel we should be excused & why. My turn comes. I ask to approach the bench. No, the judge says, whatever you have to say can be said in front of the court & jurors. I am biased in this case your honor. Why? He says. So I told him. "The little bastard bully boy is a liar & I know it for a fact because I saw the bruises that my foster son came home from school with after bully-boy decided to kick & push him." Then there was a collective sigh, bully-boy’s lawyer argued that I had single-handedly tainted the entire pool of jurors ... the judge agreed & told us all that we were dismissed.

As we left that day, all of my fellow jury poolees thanked me, patted me on the back - everyone was happy.

Jury duty bastards know better than to mess with me now! Guess I showed THEM! Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

So the truth is, The day before I’m supposed to go for jury duty, I call & the recording says we’re all excused. Which I figured might happen, because my foster son’s case had been dismissed - the bully boy has pled out. So yes, that whole last part, from the asterisk on, was a figment of my imagination & I’m good for another year. But that is an actual daydream I had ... ha. Funny little glimpses into my mind - it’s a dangerous place to visit.

PS I am sure that by blogging this, I'll end up as a grand juror when they call my # next time ... so I really hope you enjoyed this post.

matthew

My friend & ex-band mate Matthew is currently transitioning from VT to Eastern MA. He called, then stopped stopped in last week ... I hadn't seen him in years ... and asked to store some stuff here. Along with a few boxes & a couple of suitcases, Matthew left his guitar.

My love of music can be traced back to the first year of my life. It is written in my baby book. Proof positive. Eventually grabbing hold of a guitar at age 12, and learning some, and playing John Denver & dreaming of Donny Osmond ... the musical dreams fade but never really go away.

Then I am in my 30's. In love with a local musician. I am taught a bit more - I have access to this wonderful guitar. I learn.

Then a friend from work says "Hey! lets play ... I know a guy..." So Jay, Barb & Matthew form a band which had potential, but overall -- we sucked. The guys drank alcohol too much. Jay can't sing at all but insisted. We all wrote good songs, but Matthew has real songwriting ability... but his English skills are a bit ... different. I wanted to sing so badly that I couldn't hear myself singing slightly off key - ever - till now. I was never a great guitarist. I had to work really really hard, just to be able to pass as OK. Jayson had a girlfriend, Tabitha, who we referred to as Satan... she called 5 times every practice, to bitch at him for no apparent reason. He had the patience of a saint. Matt had drug issues & often times blew us off when it was time to load up the van & set up -- he'd show up just in time to sing in his drug-induced haze... he was still captivating.

PART 2 - MATTHEW EXPLAINS THE PAIN BEHIND THE SONG.

Matthew left the band many times. Rehab, joined the Navy, tramped around NYC to try acting ... rehab, rehab, rehab. Last week he calls & says he's not drinking, totally clean, not even smoking cigarettes. Has new songs. Come on over Matt! Play for me! (I love love love listening to this man sing - he has this voice that is so wonderful... it's hard to describe other than to say, I wish it was mine). But he too, is inflicted with shyness. Gotta let loose - gotta let go.

So he stops in. Drops stuff off to store here. And leaves his guitar.

I haven't played in a couple of years. Since I sold all of my stuff in order to fund other projects. God, it feels good holding that thing in my arms.

I do still love music.

sickos rambling thoughts

I’m starting to return, though not really right yet
lots of work pililng up & sleepless scrambled eggs for brains
exhausted body from constant coughing n not sleeping n trying to be normal
I always get this lung thing after getting a cold
the babies are both sick
dor has been my rock - again
nora trashed my office in 2 point 2 (she gets it from her mamma)
coughed so hard i tore a muscle or something right near the top of my ribcage & it HURTS if I cough unexpectedly & don't have time to prep myself / double over & hold onto it... man.
Only smoked 3 half-cigarettes yesterday, afraid to talk about quitting though I’m sure I will succeed THIS TIME
& even more afraid that comments like U CAN DO IT will have the opposite effect or maybe that's just another excuse.
Dammit, i just don’t want to talk about it. Assume I fail please. Then I won’t feel like such a failure when I fail again.
Blessings in disguise. Times like these, all u wish for is good health.
my mouse double clicks when i only tell it to single-click, which is very interesting when there are things u don’t want, behind other things u r trying to close. try it. try double clicking everything EVERYTHING that u normally would only single click. it’s crazy man... & I’m sure nora -- who is writing her name now btw -- is partially to blame, well, sort of ... i think her gooey toddler hands have infiltrated the safety & security of my mouses’ inner workings... so ya, technically it’s MY FAULT.
Emma got her 1st tooth! And 2 is coming, I’ve never seen so much drool & snot in my life.
I’ve had the fucking pleasure of spending an ungodly amount of time -- in & out of consciousness -- on the couch with the remote all to myself. News reporters - I will never understand that chosen path... and some dumb bitch old psychologist blaming Mrs. Spitzer for not paying enough attention ... she made me want to puke ... osama - er - I mean obama said "umm" 64 times in 10 minutes. Dyson makes the world’s best, and least affordable vacuum & he’s very interested in drying hands in public toilets & nobody knows his first name because it’s in cursive & none of us use that any longer. Cursive will be the lost language of our civilization. Someday they will unearth a manuscript, and spend a year trying to decipher the strange code...
oh shit
well - i will stop now. typing my rambling thoughts is probably not such a super idea.
this is reDICKulous

Quitting Smoking

I was in 7th grade. Mundy Zullo. Linda. Me. In the field across from their house. Cough, hack. Life-altering. Made me cool. Changed my world. Changed the world's view of me.

What an unbelievable gripping addiction tobacco is. A friend says to me, she can't believe the husband is still smoking -- his wife just died of lung cancer from smoking. I told her, it's not like that. It's not a choice.

It's like a noose with superglue.

I've been sick. Going to take advantage of the illness & the couch time & do the 'cut-down then quit' thing. Hmmm. So many reasons why I should.

Wish me luck.

Brushes With The Famous

Thanks to the Williamstown Theatre Festival, I've had TWO brushes with famous people. The first was when my daughter & I were stopped at a crosswalk by Williams College in Williamstown MA. Freakin Sara Gilbert (Darlene from Roseanne) crossed the street right in front of us! I saw her first, started slapping my daughter - saying LOOK - LOOK - LOOK - !!! She said "holy shit". And then it was over.

A few years later, I was having lunch in Williamstown & in walked Neil Patrick Harris from Doogie Howser MD & How I Met Your Mother. I gave him my business card, hoping for some kind of recognition or word of mouth ... instead, he & his buddies prank called my business line that same night. Too freakin funny.

New Office!

We're in our new space! Same building, just upstairs.

It's fantastic!

More space, completely organized, more windows = more natural light ... the walls are white, not brown like the old space. There's even a small exercise center in the next room! Treadmill, exercise bike, stair-stepper ... which is somewhat redundant since we're on the second floor now ;-)

I'm liking it - a lot.

Slightly sore from moving everything. It took a dozen trips just to get the cards up here. Finally got the last of the furniture in last night. Spent the morning organizing files & paperwork. All that's left is a bit of decorating / personalizing the space.

The biggest change is the way it makes me feel. (The Feng Shui energies are smiling on me since I no longer have my desk in a corner with my back to the door.) I feel energized & ready. And I've already noticed a difference. In the last 48 hours ... we've received a dozen catalog requests, (which is 3x our average) two new orders and a new Sales Rep!

Got a call from my birthmother too - it's been several years since we've seen each other - she & her husband (he's hilarious btw) are coming to visit next month! I'm sooo excited!

THE POST OFFICE NUKED MY COPYRIGHT MATERIALS

Every time I come out with new cards or magnets, I have to mail out my copyright claim - to the United States Copyright Office.

I send; 1) Their form. 2) Two copies of the works being copyrighted. 3) Payment.

They wrote to me today ...

THIS IS A QUOTE:

"Dear Customer: We recently received your copyright claim in the mail after it had been irradiated by the U.S. Postal Service to destroy bio-contaminants. The radiation level is strong enough to damage some materials beyond our ability to process them. This is the case with one or more of the items you sent."

--------------------

This is THE single, strangest letter I have EVER received.

So... Someone sneezed in the post office while my envelope was being processed, and it then became bio-contaminated, so they sent it to the bat-cave where Robin took the bat-laser-atomic-bio-blaster to it (ZzzaappP!!) so that no one would catch the cold germs.

I can't imagine it was from a bleeding paper-cut ... everyone at the post office who used to physically handle the mail, has been replaced by machines ...

OH! I KNOW!!! The package accidentally opened, they read the cards, and laughed so hard they pissed themselves! Pee is a bio-hazzard!

Yup, that's GOT to be what happened ...

nothing else makes sense.

Hold off on buying that Blu-ray

Article in Consumer Reports dot org ...

Bruno Gideon

For over a year now, I've been reading Bruno Gideon's One Minute E-Mail every week. He's down to earth, full of commom sense & experience & wisdom. Always a teacher, never a preacher. An excellent writer.
It's just a great way to start your day.
Check him out :-)

Babies Online - free stuff for you & baby!

Babies Online is a cool website hints, tips, connections & FREE STUFF!!!! "for new and expectant parents". Gotta love it.

Movies

Unaccompanied Minors was hilarious & very, very fun. Perfect family night movie!

In the Land of Women was great. Excellent story line. Could have had a stronger, more creative ending, but overall very enjoyable. Great acting.

Good Luck Chuck was entertaining & made me burst out lauhing several times. Definitely for a younger audience though ... well, 18 - 30-something.

The Santa Clause 3 was a fun family movie. It's been at the top of our Blockbuster Queue for a while ... since November 07. We just got it. LOL

The Game Plan was really corny but very fun & cool at the same time. Just when I thought the predictable parts were about to happen, the story twisted. I laughed, I cried. Everything I look for in a movie.

Writing In Code

I wanted to add a page to my website. One with a map, or a list of the US States, & when you click on any given State, it would automatically bring you down the page to that state's list of stores that carry GrammaBurp cards.
Well, it took me a few hours, but I did it!
I really have MySpace to thank for getting me over my fear of html in a fun & easy way. And the good folks at Yahoo Answers answered the technical part of it. And then it was just a matter of me typing it.
I have some tweaking to do with it... and more states & stores to add ... but I'm just really pleased with myself for actually being able to do it. **pats self on back**
Computers (& microwaves) were recent inventions when I was in High School. I remember everyone being told to sign up for a computer class they would be offering if we were interested. I signed up. Even before I knew much about them, I knew. Unfortunately, there were not enough spaces for everyone who was interested, because I was never offered the class. Eh, just another one of those I wonder where I'd be today if I had done that questions.
AND yet another fear conquered! Woohoo!

Growing Greeting Cards

The seed was planted.
The ideas flowered.
The research ... weeded out ... the plan.
I worked the soil, and I fertilized ... a lot.

April 21st 2005 I made my first dollar.

At that moment it became so much more than just another one of my ideas.

Photo By Sue Bush
This is me, in my old, tiny office, when my line consisted of only fifty cards. The first time I was interviewed for a newspaper.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was in my late 30's ... and without realizing it, I had become accustomed to having exciting ideas, and not following through -- for whatever reason. But somehow, that kept me going.

And then it happened.

My daughter got married & had a baby & moved to California & her husband was deployed to Iraq. The baby was only a couple of months old. I couldn't handle them being so far away. I finally got the balls enough to quit my day job. We got pet sitters / house sitters & we rented a car & drove from Massachusetts to California.

I'd had the greeting card idea before we left, and had been talking about it with my wife... she was used to me talking about my ideas & she was always very supportive & honest & helped me process the ideas.

We're in the middle of the USA -- highway driving all day -- tired -- and maybe a little lost. We pull off the highway & into the first parking lot we came to. Turns out, it was the Corporate HQ for Hallmark in Kansas City MO. THAT was the moment we knew - THIS wasn't just another one of my ideas. THIS was what I was supposed to be doing.

No one will ever know the amout of excitement I felt that evening, being so completely blown away by fate - knowing that everything -- every step - every move - every turn -- had been right ... sitting in the Hallmark parking lot.


to be continued ... (don't you hate that?)

Bourne

Bourne Ultimatum

Aside from the fact that I mutilated ALL ten of my already pathetic fingernails, I FREAKIN LOVED this 3rd in the series of Jason Bourne movies. TOTALLY left me saying: "I cannot WAIT 'till the next one comes out!"

There was only one scene in the movie that was a bit too fake & drawn out ... the entire rest of it was ...

Whew, man.

Awesomeness at it's finest.

FREE condoms for everybody!!!!!!

OK, well, you have to be 18 (yes, because we all know that no one under 18 has sex) and it takes 6 weeks to receive your 1 free Trojan condom. But hey, it's free!

CLICK HERE to get it!

Oh, and it's a limited offer to one free condom per person per year... so, if you don't need more than one this year... you probably won't mind waiting the 6 weeks it takes to receive it ... here ya go.

:-)

YAY TROJAN!

Hillary's Daughter The PIMP

Re: the comment about Hillary's daughter being "pimped out".

I think Whoopi said it best ...

"unfortunate things happen when white people try to use black slang". (or something similar to that)

Does the guy deserve to lose his job? NO

Does Hill need to take a chill pill & concentrate on bigger & better things? YES

OK, so, how do you think she should have reacted to the pimp comment?
I think she should have gotten Chelsea a t-shirt that says "I'M PIMPIN FO MY MAS".

Yup. That's exactly what I think.

Shoveling

We got hit pretty hard today. Looked like about 8 inches of snow, which, when I decided to go to bed last night, was light & fluffy. Then came the sleet & freezing rain all morning & all day. Holy shit. It took me 20 minutes to clear a two-foot wide section the length of our car. Frozen slush. You had to break it up before you could shovel it. And even then you couldn't put much on the shovel - either because you simply couldn't lift it or for fear of the shitty plastic shovel snapping in two beneath the weight of the frozen sludge. All together, I only shoveled for a little over an hour ... with many breaks ... it took all day ... and now my shoulders are wondering what the hell I was thinking.

More movie reviews

Mr Woodcock - Very silly, entertaining, Love Seann William Scott. The bonus is, you get to see him & Billy-Bob in wrestling outfits ... HA!

3:10 to Yuma - awesome awesome awesome! Even if you don't like westerns, this one has an amazing story-line. Great movie!

PiGS - well, they tried ... but it just didn't do anything for me.

Oceans Thirteen - Lived up to its promises. I've been very impressed by all three 'Oceans' flicks.

Superbad - if you only see one movie this year, make sure this one is it. It's absolutely factually rediculous, and completely hilarious. Takes American Pie to the next level. I AM McLovin.

Great FREE Websites For Kids Online

All the experts told my parents that too much TV would damage us ... eh ... we made it through. Now the evil spawn of these "experts" are still waving the same flags ... only this time they've added warning labels on computers too.
Well.
I happen to disagree.
I'm not gonna sit a child in front of the TV or DVD or computer or video games completely unsupervised ... or for hours on end. But you can bet all of my kids have TV's in their rooms.
First, selfishly, it does give us 'mommy time'... Secondly, if their responsibilities are not done (chores, homework) then no phone or electronics.
And third, there are actually some excellent programs on TV, & fun, educational games on the computer.
And 4th ... that's not all they do.
To sum it up ... anyone who tells me that Baby Einstein is going to damage my granddaughter's brain, can bite me.

HERE'S A LIST OF GREAT FREE WEBSITES FOR KIDS.

Sesame Street

Noggin

The Wiggles

Playhouse Disney

PBS Kids

Me

I LOVE watching movies. Comedies especially. I have experienced true love, many times ... I am addicted to chocolate... I used to drive fast... now, old women pass me. I love working on the computer. I'm an animal lover. Always have been. I think that people who abuse animals &/or children should get life sentences. That way the cycle might end. My living room looks like a day care center. I don't do windows & I rarely dust. If my office / desk isn't clean & organized, I get very little work done. When I put my mind to something I go at it 100% ... I have had 1,000,000 ideas ... I didn't always have the family support -- or belief in myself -- to stick with the ideas & follow through enough to see if it'll turn out as great as I think it will in the beginning. I love to laugh. I strive to be healthy. I was given up for adoption at birth. 10 years ago, I met my birthmother & birthfather... we still stay in touch. They're both amazing. I've been a foster mom for 10 years. Sometimes it's too easy. At other times, it's so difficult, we discuss not doing it any more. The system sucks in so many ways. Many of the people I work with, do truly care. While at the same time, I've seen some of the worst the system has to offer, Social Services case workers for one - I have yet to be impressed. Empty threats, empty promises, lies, huge caseloads, laziness ... It's truly sad. I teach children to jump in puddles. I rarely shop for sneakers, because I'm so particular about how they should fit - it usually takes me a month of shopping & trying on sneakers, before I find the right pair. I hate shopping. When I DO finally find the right pair of sneakers, I should buy two pair. I do not own shoes. I have a garage full of crap. Good crap, but crap nonetheless.

Hey, you never know.

Each link is searchable by State / last name ... pretty cool .... & hey, you never know.

You may just end up finding some LOST MONEY !!!


MISSING MONEY DOT COM

UNCLAIMED DOT ORG

The Chocolate Garden

I first heard of The Chocolate Garden back in 2001 on TV ... The Food Network did a feature on them.

You know how TV shows featuring foods have the hosts take a bite ... and no matter what, they all say: "Yum, this is amazing"... but you can tell by the looks on their faces that as soon as they go to commercial, they're bending over the trash bucket? Ya. Well not this time. When they tasted the Chocolate Garden's truffles, time seemed to slow ... all you heard was: "mmmmmm". Eyelids were slowly closing in their most unexpected public moments that proved to be nearly orgasmic.

I immediately got online & ordered a two-pack. Six days later I received my order & tasted them for the first time. Five minutes after that, I was placing another (much larger) order.






I may have mentioned before, how cranky I get when I go to 'gourmet chocolate shops', pay too much & end up disappointed. One of the reasons I fell so immediately head-over-heels with The Chocolate Garden, was because these suckers are hand-rolled. The truffles you get in many "gourmet" shops are mass produced, and have a horrendous wax coating that just makes my tongue say: "ewww" the moment I put it in my mouth.

There's no wax on The Chocolate Garden's truffles.

Let me just say this ...

Oh ... My .... God.

Chocolate lovers, you will know - with your first soft bite - these are simply, the world's greatest chocolate truffles.

Period.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry

I suppose it's a sign that I'm getting older .... but I kept finding myself wondering if some of the sexual references in the movie I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK & LARRY were appropriate for the 14 yr old to be seeing. It's rated PG-13, but I kept thinking ... I should get up & check to make sure it's actually PG-13.

And because of that, I don't think I enjoyed it as much as I would have if the 14 yr old wasn't watching it with us.

There were several laugh out lout moments... but also many predictable moments.

Excellent actors, all of them. LOADED with stars. Great message.

Overall, good entertainment.

Free Samples from WalMart

WalMart has a section of their website that offers FREE SAMPLES !!!

A simple name & address form, and you'll get free (sample size) stuff delivered to your door.

I've been using it for 3 months now & I have actually received several sample-size items in my mailbox. No additional junk mail that I have noticed either! (They don't share your contact info.)

The only drawback? You have to fill in the name & address infor every time.

Free stuff = cool.

ENJOY!

I WANT THE BANANA!

We have a YMCA family membership. They have a lot of different aquatic programs. Kids lessons, family swim, open swim, laps, even kayak lessons & programs for older people & people with injuries & synchronized swimming.

Yesterday we took our 3 1/2 year old granddaughter swimming during the family swim time. She loved it. About 20 minutes into our time in the pool, she spots something -- her eyes get big -- she yells: "I WANT THE BANANA!" She's hungry? Now? We look around. There's a big yellow kayak parked upside-down on the side of the pool, waiting for the kayak class.

It really did look like a humongous banana.

:-)

Ghirardelli Chocolate

As a self-proclaimed chocolate connoisseur, I have to say, I know chocolate. Chocolate & I have been having an ongoing love affair for more than forty years.

I've been to the local malls where the fancy-schmancy chocolate shops claim to have the best chocolates in the world, spent waaay too much money for something that tastes the same as a $2 hollow chocolate Easter bunny.

I've tried every chocolate bar known to man.

Belgian chocolates are very good. But even they, pale in comparison to Ghirardelli. (GEAR-UH-DELLY)



There's just something about the taste of Ghirardelli that makes you -- if you're a true chocolate lover -- sigh ... and feel the rush of calm surround your body like a warm, soft blanket.

It's the greatest natural high that I know.

I read once, that they roast their cocoa beans differently than other chocolate manufacturers. Ghirardelli takes the little seeds out of the bean & roasts them at precise temps, in order to get specific flavors. Most other chocolate manufacturers roast & burn the bean ... the result being ... burnt seeds, under-roasted seeds ... varying, inconsistent flavors.



I've even visited the factory in SanFrancisco.

It was a thing of beauty. Huge vats of slowly stirred, thick liquid chocolate. I wanted to jump in. I wanted to swim in it. I pictured myself diving in. Evidently, someone had the idea before me because there were Plexiglas walls surrounding the vats.

All in all, my visit to the Ghirardelli factory was one of the most memorable experiences of my time in SanFrancisco... even though I didn't get to go swimming.

The grocery stores carry double chocolate ghirardelli brownies & ghirardelli semi-sweet chocolate chips. The next time you're gonna make brownies or chocolate chip cookies, I challenge you to spend the extra $1.50. You WILL NOT regret it. :-) I promise.

Ever changing

Feels like life is changing ... again. Everything always changes, I know. But a lot of the time, I don't see it coming. Sometimes I feel it coming, but I'm not aware enough of the significance of it all ... then I can look back & say: "gee, I should have seen that coming." But now ... everything is changing. I can see it, I can feel it ... & I'm scared. And I'm excited.

My daughter is moving out of the apartment upstairs, into her own apartment (in town). And she's taking my grandbabies with her. It's just so convenient having them right here. But I know it'll be more normal -- for her -- if she's not living with mommy at 23 yrs old.

And it's been crowded. We're foster parents. And we have a fairly large old house. Since I work at home, and since my daughter moved in (& required the entire upstairs) ... my workspace -- my OFFICE -- is shared with our bedroom. It's squished. It's hard to concentrate. It impossible to organize. My office space is less than half the size it was before. So yes, I'm looking forward to having my office space back. If a feng shui person saw this space right now, they'd run screaming.

All of it though, is leaving an uneasy feeling in my gut. A lot like butterflies. Fear of the unknown I suppose. Also, partly, me losing control of the situation. (Did I mention I have control issues? -- well, they're not really issues, so long as I'm in control.)

Scary.

I think I made a mistake.

I like to think I'm like most moms out there. We all try to do our best. We all try to do better with our own kids than our parents did with us. We all try. And we all make mistakes.

I think I made a mistake. I kind of got sidetracked on this blog ... I mean, I was keeping it all about greeting cards - and the truth is, I WANT to write about other stuff too.

So ... stuff that once didn't belong here, will now be here. YEE HAWWWW! Such freedom! Woo Hoo!

I hope to blog here about; life, marriage, funny things my daughter & granddaughters say & do, product reviews, pet tales, food, and maybe even a dash of poetry.

In other words, you all (if there is actually anyone out there reading my blog) will get to see the real me - the true me ... you'll see what a whack-job I really am.

Lucky, Lucky you!

GrammaBurp on Zazzle!

Ahh, the benefits of having friends in the business ...

CLICK :-) HERE

Greeting Card Market Flourishing

Greeting Card Market Flourishing

A new study conducted by Unity Marketing finds that greeting cards were the fastest growing category in the overall stationery market in 2006. This showed a big comeback for the product after four years of steadily declining sales, rising over 11 percent from 2004 to 2006. The report further showed that, in 2006, the market for greeting cards climbed to over $10 billion.

Pam Danziger, president of Unity Marketing, noted that from 2000 to 2004 the sales of greeting cards were in steady decline, but in 2005 sales began to turn around, as, she says, a result of a shift in consumers' shopping preferences away from mass retailers and discounters. "In 2006 specialty card and gift shops regained 6 market share points. As a result, the mass merchants are holding on as market share leader by a thread," says Danziger. She notes that a drop in the number of specialty retail shops in the card and gift segments had an impact on sales. Now there is a revival of specialty retail for greeting cards, and due to the quality products, people prefer these shops to the mass merchants and discounters. Danziger explains, "A few years back the mass merchants, such as Wal-Mart, were the biggest, baddest competitors in the greeting card business, driving prices down and capturing the largest share of business. This resulted in a winnowing out of the weaker specialty retailers that couldn't survive the mass retailers' onslaught. But this new study shows that the tide is turning. The specialty retailers that remain are robust competitors able to attract more affluent shoppers who will pay more for the better designs and higher quality greeting cards available through these stores."


Published by Talcott Communications Corporation. Copyright © 1998-2007
Talcott Communications Corporation. All Rights Reserved

1 state 2 states red states blue states

GrammaBurp cards can be found in twenty-one US States. I was looking at my color-coded map that I use to keep track of what states carry our cards & it hit me ... the pattern is similar to the red states / blue states maps ... especially he newer ones ...
Blue represents states we're in.
MY MAP LOOKS SOMETHING LIKE THIS ...


THEIR MAP



So ... republicans hate us ...
LOL

Our New Addition

HA - I love this one ...

Whoa...

Whoa, I've been so busy lately... blogging get pushed to the bottom of the list when it's this nuts.

My daughter is about to have our 2nd grandchild.
I've been furiously working on getting all of the new cards completed ... published ... printed ... cataloged ... copyrighted ... advertised ... yikes!
Filling new orders, filling reorders...
It's been very good for me -- staying busy.

Show me the new cards now!

I <3 My Sales Reps!

I just want to say, I LOVE MY SALES REPS!!!!

Y'all ROCK!

THREE

She just turned 3. That means GrammaBurp is almost 3 too...

:-)

I have made a conscious effort to separate business & politics. But this must be shared.

I have made a conscious effort to separate business & politics. But this must be shared.

Love is ...

Love is ...

When a retailer calls & says they HAD TO place an order because she & her staff were spending too much time sitting at the computer, laughing their asses off at our cards & not getting any work done!


Love is ...

Re-orders ... "we've sold out of these & these & these & these ... I need more! how fast can you send 'em?"

Sales Reps, spike the punch, freelance writers...

A while back I was contacted by my first sales rep company. I should tell you, over the last couple of years I've learned that when it comes to sales reps, they find you, not the other way around.

So we do all of the initial stuff... talking, terms, agreement, & I send samples. Lots of them. And then it's a waiting game. 2 months go by & nothing. I e-mail them & get no response. Eh, I figure I've been ripped off. No big deal. Another couple / few hundred to write off. I chalk it up to a learning experience. Then out of the blue, hundreds + in orders from them.

Some days I think I'll never figure out people. Roll with the punches... does that mean take the shit & bounce back? or does it mean, when you see a punch coming, roll your head to the side to make the impact as painless as possible? Probably both.

Eh. Screw rolling with the punch. I say spike the punch.

So now we have several sales reps. And I LOVE the fact that they do the selling, because that's my least favorite part of owning a business. Next I'll need to outsource my product packaging & shipping, because packing & shipping is 2nd in line for my least favorite things to do ... Oh gosh, it almost sounds like I'm complaining now, doesn't it... I'm not. Really I'm not. Just in a mood I guess.

We added novelty fridge magnets to the line this year. The feedback ... & sales reports are showing that our magnets absolutely ROCK! They're selling twice as fast as our cards EVER did. AND every day I get a clearer view of which cards are popular, and which are not so good. The not-so-good / non-bestselling ones will be coming out of the line. I want only the best. In order to do that though, we need many more cards IN the line... So we're using freelance writers now. Struggled with that one for a bit, my own ego was in the way... but once I talked it through with the team, we agreed. I got us off to a good start, but we want the best products ... and in order to give that to people, we need to expand not only the line of cards & novelties --more quickly than I alone can write cards -- but we also need to offer the funniest shit on earth.

Prepare to laugh motherfuckers!

Humor Trend ... I'm there!

Forecasting Trends in Holiday Greetings
By Jolene Turner, Associate Editor, Giftware News


There are three major greeting card trends that are also spilling over into the new holiday cards for both Christmas and Hanukah. These three trends are:
. Humorous Sentiments
. Handmade and Embellished Creations
. Pet-related Themes

Humor Trend
While humor has always been popular, currently there seems to be a higher demand for it. People are looking for a break from the more serious issues that are happening in the world around us; laughing helps to relieve stress while trying to remain strong and move forward in today's world. With a humorous greeting card people can escape for a bit, laugh, and also be reminded that they are loved.

The types of humor that seems to be really hot right now are clever and dark humor. The sentiments are smart and make you think and then burst out laughing because it almost shocks you that a four word sentence can be so funny and smart. In terms of dark humor, this could be popular almost because of the state of the world's affairs also, people are a little more cynical and angry; being able to channel it through dark humor helps us to stay balanced.

meta tags & bots & spiders - oh, my!

Finally!

I'm on the right path!

Years of typing "greeting cards wholesale humorous" into a google search, and getting 500,000 results, but not finding my own website... until today. Page 7.

Unexpected. Like scratching a lottery ticket. You scratch so many losers, that when you actually win, it's a surprise!

Now I know I'm doing it right.

Now I head on up to page 1 or 2.

Yippee!

New New New Novelties!

Yup!

Coffee mugs, t-shirts, journals, posters, stickers, boxers & thongs ... even teddy bears!

All with GrammaBurp designs on 'em!

How fun is THAT!

Come visit GrammaBurp's novelties shop!

Advertising hell

Cost efficient. Profitable. That's the goal when it comes to advertising... & I'm definitely going through the trial & error thing. Finding the right avenues for advertising has, by far, been one of the most challenging aspects of this business so far.

Unlike what I see in most of my competitors, I have virtually zero dollars in start-up cash. No investors, and I refuse to take out any loans. I decided at the start that I would not put my family at risk. I'm a foster parent. That's what I do, that's who I am... the wife & I are good at it & we've made it our life's work... and that's the only source of income our family has. (You get to a certain age & you realize that happiness in what you do every day, far outweighs a bigger salary.) The few hundred dollars each month that is left over after the bills are paid, is what my business got started on. So my business has to be self-sufficient... self-sustaining.

That's where advertising comes in. Advertise, get orders as a result, orders pay for more advertising.... right?

There are several trade publications. I did a TON of market research & I chose one, that I thought was best, and advertised with them for over a year. I got many leads through that advertisement, and several orders, and the orders almost covered the advertising cost.

So this year I'm seeking out ... and will try new advertising. Mostly online.

There is one that lists itself as being the biggest & best online resource. They called me, once a month or so, for an entire year. Finally convincing me to buy ad space online. I get "hit" notifications via e-mail every day, which (unfortunately) I suspect are generated by their own staff, as I have received **zero** orders through them.

A few weeks ago http://www.wholesalecrafts.com/ was recommended to me by a fellow greeting card manufacturer. It's juried. I applied & was accepted. I have been a member since 4-5-07 & as of this morning, I've already gotten 4 new retail accounts.

THIS is what I need to find more of! Cost efficient, legitimate ... with real results.

AND THEN THERE'S THE NSS ...

In the stationery business, everybody tells you that you absolutely must participate in the National Stationery Show in NYC if you want your greeting card business to succeed. I've even seen evidence firsthand that retail store owners will not take you seriously if you do not attend the show. Twice I've had retailers, about to place orders, ask if I was going to be at the show -- & after I said no, they changed their minds about ordering from me. Every year I stress out about it. But the fact is, it's wicked expensive. The booth alone costs a couple of thousand dollars. Then you have to pay for decorating the booth, lighting, fireproofing, fabric, electricity, carpet, chairs, etc. etc. When you figure in travel costs, meals & hotel, you need to have 5 grand or so to go. (And that's a bare-bones estimate.) Yes, I should. But can I justify it to my family at this point? No. I cannot. So here I am, another year going by. I wonder if it's a huge mistake or not... and the answer is, I just don't know.

The good news is, business continues to pick up! Slowly but surely, the retail orders continue to come in. A teensy bit more frequently every month. We're in 14 States now! I think that's something to brag about! Although after having just finished figuring my business income taxes (yes just now), I'm still well below federal poverty guidelines, lol.

OK, I am off to find more advertising avenues!

:-)

Chocolate & creativity ...

Homemade Easter Candy...
Melted some chocolate & made some chocolate bunnies on sticks. The little kit comes with chocolate molds & little straw-like sticks for the lollipops. Cute, fun, yummy!

Cravings...
So tonight, prego (my daughter) is here & I make her a chocolate shake. I discovered a bit too late that we had no straws. So I pull out a little straw from the candy mold set. Now, these are really hard plastic, and probably the same size as the stirrers you get with a mixed drink.) It works... with a little effort. I hand the shake to prego & she says, "what the hell?" (her favorite saying). I smile & say, "we're outta straws... pretty creative, huh?" (very proud of myself).
She responds by looking me square in the eye & saying: "Ma, there's a fine line between creative & ghetto."
My wonderful, witty daughter nearly made me wet my pants on that one.

April Fool's Day 2007

Our 12 yr old came to me this AM & asked how we could get Dor (the wifey) ... with an April Fools joke.
I informed her I'd never been able to. So we sat & talked & thought about it.
We decided she would smear peanut butter under the doorknob.
The 12 yr old asked me what she should do after ... if it worked. I said "watch, enjoy, ... and then run!"

It worked!

& she ran.

Screaming & laughter filled the house today.

I love it.

Who needs oxygen, anyway!?!

I just had an idea! So, you know how half of the people in the world are scared of flying ... well, I think we're all more afraid of crashing, the flying thing is unnatural, but not as scary as crashing ... ANYWAY ... you know those oxygen masks that drop from the ceiling if there's a (((problem))) ... ya, those... what do you say ... we replace the oxygen, with laughing gas. I think that would solve a lot of the anxiety related issues people have on planes. And if you ever were -- God forbid -- actually going down ... you could go out laughing.

THAT reminds me of the time I went to the dentist & got laughing gas for the first time. I was probably 13 years old. The whole thing is a blur, except for the ending. They said, "you're all set" & I got up from the dentist's chair, looked around, I looked left ... I looked right ... I remember smirking... then I walked, still smirking, down the hallway toward where my dad was waiting for me. I took that one last step around the corner at the end of the long hallway -- I saw my dad -- & I burst out with: "Dad! They gave me laughing gas!" I remember it came out of my mouth A LOT louder than I thought it was gonna. And I was sure of it, because eveyone in the waiting area behind my dad, started laughing. And I proceeded to laugh uncontrollably. My father stared at me, wide-eyed, trying not to lose it too.
To this day I think they screwed up the gas levels or something, because I've been chasing that same **happy place** feeling since that day at the dentists.
Most times, when I go in to the dentist, I won't ask for it, but if they give me the mask, as soon as they leave the room, I take B-I-G breaths in, hold it, let it out, another big breath.... you know .... the same way that people who take the pot inhale ... (lol) ... and when they come back, resume normal breathing, BUT YOU MUST be prepared for them ... & their evil trickery. They dial down the laughing gas, and dial UP the oxygen... AND they ask you questions. You must be prepared to answer them or they cut you off completely! You're enjoying the little legal buzz you've got goin' on, and they PURPOSELY try to ruit it by bringing you back to reality. Bastards. You should know, the 'smile - nod' thing DOES NOT work. They watch for that. If you answer their inane questions with a smile & a nod, you can consider yourself busted. You get straight oxygen. OH, they won't tell you it's straight oxygen. They just switch it up on you. You have to know. REMEMBER to watch for the subtle head movement of the dentist -- to the tech -- the one that means she's wasted, straight oxygen from here on in And THATS when you stop breathing through your nose mask.

I say ... Who needs oxygen, anyway!?!

The Dentist ...

I sat in the dentist's chair shaking in fear.

Forever - very afraid of the dentist. But I'm not sure why. Maybe because the dentist I had for 30 years has the personality of a stone ... No, that doesn't describe him right ... What would you call a stone, with a nasty attitude? umm, anyway, I'm pretty sure he doesn't like people... & he's got this 'holier than thou' thing... combined with a non-caring attitude. Overall, he always seemed -- just ... very cold. Like he's doing you a favor by allowing you to go to his office. It's difficult to explain...

I also think my dentist fears come from the fact that dental work is so invasive. "Open up" ... "wider" ... "wider" ... "OK now this is gonna hurt a little"... Kind of similar to going to the OBGYN ... only the other end.

And it goes way back -- to my childhood.

What's the ONE thing you hate the taste of? The one flavor that even the thought of it makes you gag? liver? Fish? garlic? For me, until I was 20 yrs old or so, it was mint. So you see, this made brushing unpleasant, and I gagged & dry-heaved every -- single -- time. They didn't have bubble gum flavored toothpaste waaayy back when I was a kid.

And then there's the fact that cotton in the mouth, for me, is like fingernails scraping a chalkboard.

So, I guess it's a compilation of all of that stuff. So I put off appointments. I wait. I reschedule. I cancel appointments....

Then yesterday.

I finally go. I don't want to deal with an abcess, so I just decide I need to grow up & deal with it. Force myself to keep the appt.

I'm supposed to have one molar taken out.

One, full-mouth x-ray later he comes in & says: "you know, this wisdom tooth really should come out. Lets do it today. My response? "Sure, why not." I know for a fact that my dentist told me 5 or 6 years ago that the wisdom tooth needed to come out. But it wasn't bothering me at all, so .... you know, why fix what ain't broke? AND I knew full-well, that I would not be back in that chair for an extraction for at least another few years.... so.... you get the idea.

Novocaine & needles never really bothered me. I don't know why, but they don't.

I get the shots. 5 minutes ... 10 minutes ... waiting is torture. Waiting means panicing, imagining everything that could possibly go wrong. Picturing myself hopping out of the chair & running out of there... He comes in. "You ready?" he says. ... I shrug. "You'll be fine" he tells me. Vice grip-like tool. He pushes down, really hard. Harder than my lower jaw can push back. The assistant has to apply upward pressure to my jaw to equal the dentist's pushing. I hear crunching, cracking. I taste blood. "Huh" the dentist says. "Huh?!?" "What does 'huh' mean" I think to myself. Dude! I scream in silence What does 'huh' mean?!? He keeps pushing, pulling. "Well, the tooth wants to come out" he adds. It wants to? I think to myself ... How do you know it wants to? I think it was perfectly happy right where it was. Do teeth talk to you? Do they say: Hello mr. dentist ... I'd really like to come out of this jawbone now.... she has been bombarding me with chocolate ... she should be arrested for her piss-poor flossing technique ... I simply cannot take it any longer.... And just then, he says "OK, that one's out", now we'll take the top one. Push, crunch, crack, pull, push, push, pull ... "OK you're all set". He says ... "How do you feel?" In my mind I respond: How do I feel? Are you fucking serious? And do you expect an answer? My mouth is numb, full of blood & cotton & little chips of teeth, and I'm supposed to talk? I nod. I guess that means I am OK, I am alive. Another traumatic event is over. I lived through it. Now I get to pay them hundreds of dollars for ripping parts of my body out & making me bleed.

They give me instructions. No smoking for 12 hours (ha) no straws (ok) no crumbly foods (ok) nothing "real" hot (ok) They give me gauze. I walk to the reception area & I sit down, checkbook & pen ... start making out the check. That's when they inform me my insurance covered it. "You're kidding." I say. Nope... Merry Christmas the lady says. Wow, that was a nice surprise.

I open the door & walk out through the waiting area, there are a half dozen people. I had not looked in a mirror or anything, but I could tell from the raised eyebrows, and attempted kind smiles & wide-eyed stares ... that I look like hell.

I leave there with two teeth less than I went in with. One molar & one wisdom tooth. And I look like a boxer - who lost - after 3 rounds.

And it pisses me off that I forgot to take the teeth with me. If I had, maybe the tooth fairy would have visited me last night.... nah, probably not ... since I wasn't really able to sleep.

And why do they call it a wisdom tooth? Is it the older = wiser thing? I am without it now & I don't feel any less wise... aside from the fact that if I was really smart I would have never lost any teeth to begin with.

And I also think we humans should adapt ... you're born & grow baby teeth ... then those fall out & you get your adult teeth. Well, hundreds of years ago, that was fine, nobody lived past 40 anyway. These days people are living well into their 80's, 90's, even 100's. Shouldn't whoever's in charge of adaptation let us start growing a 3rd set? Something in-between baby teeth & adult teeth?

And what the hell do we need wisdom teeth for anyway if they all just get pulled?

Please think positive, healing thoughts & send em my way ... Thanks.

The Website

Visit website: GrammaBurp.com

The Challenges Of Starting A Greeting Card Business

Well... that last post was difficult to read again. I haven't looked at it in years. I've got to say though, it's relieving knowing that I don't have to live that life anymore.

My spouse & I have been foster care providers for the last decade. After I resigned from the job I had for 13 years, we decided to do foster care full-time. We really do enjoy it. I much prefer a house full of noisy teenagers, than peace & quiet. There's something unnatural about complete silence. And I have never really been able to explain it, but I feel much happier when I'm surrounded by the chaos that comes with having a house full of kids.

Two years ago my greeting card business, GrammaBurp, officially opened. Starting a new business without any financial backing, whether it's a savings account, investors, or loans, is quite a challenge. The stipend you get for foster-parenting is officially said to be "for room & board", and if anyone reading this has ever raised a child ... teenager, you'll know that I'm not kidding when I say that the stipend barely covers it. So that leaves me without a lot to work with, in starting a business. I had a little from unemployment benefits, and that got me started. I also did a bit of eBay sales, but I learned to loathe that, so I only did it when I had no other options. And then, little by little, one sale at a time, my greeting card business became self-sustaining.

That's been one of the biggest challenges, making sure the business could support itself.

Another challenge I've faced, or not ... is DA- DA - DAAAA!!!! (((low echoing movie announcer guy's voice))) S-A-L-E-S. The word alone sends shivers of fear down my spine.

Yes, I took classes, I subscribed to newsletters, I read the best books ... but still I have yet to tackle my fear of sales. I know I have a great product & I know that it sells really well, but I don't know how to convince retail stores that it's a win / win situation. When they find me, and order... they're always happy. But I have yet to find much success in making the dreaded cold calls. I hate receiving sales calls, I know they hate it too. & I'm not naturally a pushy person... so it's really, really difficult for me.

Another challenge I've dealt with, successfully, is time management. In the beginning, the family didn't understand that I was actually working when I was in my home office. I think they thought I was just screwing around on the computer. They would come in & ask me anything & everything, like: "Hey barbie, where's the milk?". Usually I'd say "It's on the porch" or something ridiculous, and you always get the same response to that kind of comment. They all say: "Huh?" (Which sounds like a snippet of a yodel in slow-motion... starts out really low on the 'h', then rolls up to higher notes on the 'u' & the last 'h' ... sort of like Tim Allen / Tim Taylor -- the dad on home improvement -- Tool Time -- when the light bulb went on...) Eventually they realize the milk is in the fridge, behind the juice & not on the porch... although some of them actually looked outside for it.

We're known for having "family meetings" ... which I think is something I make them all go through because I had to sit through them as a teen also. Eventually, after several family meetings, we all agreed that while I'm in my office, I'm not the 1st person to ask where the dairy products are hiding.

It's working out a lot better now, than it did in the beginning. I think that when they started seeing my cards in stores it hit them that I was serious. One of the kids was with my spouse one day, & they went into a store in the next state over. He spotted the spinner full of my cards the minute they walked in & he said: (not quietly) "Oh my God! Those are GrammaBurp cards! Wow! I can't believe it! I know a famous person!" The clerk got a kick out of it. And after that, he started showing a genuine interest in the cards.

All in all, it's been a wonderful adventure so far. but right now my granddaughter would like to play a computer game, so .... until next time....

Old letter explaining why I resigned - job burnout - the causes

Clearing out my old e-mail & computer files, and I came across this... The reasons I resigned from my old job. Reading it brought me back, I traveled through time -- that old ache in my gut returned -- my stomach remembers the stress.

It's a long read, but it is all truth. (Asterics substituted for names.)

After more than 12 years of employment with **TheAgency** , I had to resign because of consistent poor working conditions, safety issues & being treated disrespectfully, which all together resulted in my experiencing numerous physical & emotional symptoms of job burnout.

I went to my supervisor when I realized I was experiencing a great number of job burnout symptoms & told her. I was not offered an alternate position, nor was I offered any counseling. Instead, my direct supervisor made jokes about me needing an antidepressant.

A large number of things contributed to my job burnout;
-recent cut in time off benefits
-frequent, mandatory overtime / having to work on days off
-numerous financial cutbacks
-issue with supplies
-a general sense of job insecurity
-increase in expectations coupled with decrease in staff
-communication issues throughout agency
-too much responsibility
-conflicting expectations
-frequently having to run programs short staffed
-unpleasant working conditions
-dangerous working conditions
-huge workload
-infrequent breaks
-long hours
-lack of control over my job
-little or no support from new supervisor
-constantly questioned & second-guessed about office or household supplies
(especially lightbulbs, paper towels & computer & fax ink)
-inability to participate in decision-making, little recognition for all the work I was doing
-supervisor joking about my job burnout - asked if I had gotten an antidepressant yet
-maggots
-rodents
-fleas
-loose stair treads
-icy parking lot
-lack of salt & sand
-bodily fluids in personal vehicles (vomit, urine, feces)
-2 years reporting foundation collapsing issue ignored
-no safety lighting
-cheap telephones that do not work well causing inability to dial 9-1-1 when needed & nothing was done
-being treated disrespectfully by human resources

resignation facts & dates

August 04 New supervisor. She was supposed to have weekly supervision with me. She consistently meets with the other site manager, for a weekly scheduled supervision. She scheduled one with me, then didn't come, so we had supervision on the phone that day. Did not have any other supervisions, though I did drop in a couple of times to communicate. My workload is twice that of my counterpart who was having weekly supervision. I have more than twice the # of clients & 1 1/2 times the staff to supervise, with little to no support.

New supervisor has bad follow-through. I asked her to speak with a therapist about a client wanting support group for breast cancer, the therapist told my staff to cancel the clients support group appt. A month later, my new supervisor followed up in staff meeting, which was a bit late, as the client had already had her mastectomy 2 weeks prior.

Increasingly more often being asked to come in on my days off. It happened 3 times in Sept / October.

In September I submitted a purchase request for four, $4 calculators for the staff to calculate mileage & for use while grocery shopping with clients. The request was denied. Staff & I had to purchase out of pocket & donate the calculators.

In September, I was given a 5 year service pin after having worked for **TheAgency** for 12+ years.

Physical symptoms I was experiencing:
Stabbing temple headaches daily.
Jaw aches daily d/t clenching jaw / teeth all night, every night (insurance would not cover the dental guard).
Irregular heartbeat diagnosed as premature ventricular contractions (which disappeared the day after my last day of work).
Days I would call out because I just couldn't stand the thought of going in were increasing.
Crying out of stress before going in to work.
Felt like I was busting my butt constantly, & doing more work than ever, yet every time I turned around, I was being told that I wasn't doing enough.
I was having nightmares about work & so not sleeping well. 4-5 hours sleep per night at best.
Dreaded getting out of bed in the AM.
My spouse & I went 5 months without having sexual relations. (I'm sure they had a good laugh after reading this line.)

I was at my breaking point. I'd gone so long doing so much hard work, giving my all & feeling so much stress, with so little recognition, & experiencing so many physical & mental symptoms that my spouse suggested I look up job burnout symptoms on the internet. I did on 9-27-04. This is when I recognised the problem.

During a meeting with ***supervisor 1 & supervisor 2*** I told them I was completely burnt out & felt that I would have to quit within the next few months. I told them I had recently read up on job burnout symptoms & that I have 90% of them, all except I am not doing drugs & I'm not suicidal.

On 10-?-04 ***supervisor 1*** called ***supervisor 2*** at the residential site & told her to ask me if I had started my antidepressant yet. This was said in front of staff, in a joking manner, but I did not find it funny at all. It was clear to me at that point that they were not taking my problems seriously, and ***supervisor 1*** thought it was all a joke.

On 10-20-04 ***supervisor 2*** asked me to meet with her & ***supervisor 1*** that morning. Accused me of doing the schedule too far in advance, ""staff get too anxious when they see a whole months schedule up" (not true, they're not children) & accused me of not filling the schedule (this because of staffing shortages). They added: "You may feel like we're attacking you, but these are things you need to take care of". (My former supervisor & I had been asking Human Resources to advertise for staff for 4 months), so I told them it is not my responsibility if HR isn't doing their job. They didn't begin to advertise until 10-25-04. At that time there was still nothing in the newspaper, just on the internet, as of the date of this writing, there is still no newspaper ad. Also accused me of not using new medical forms, but ***supervisor 1*** was referring to a form that was completed in May, which was before we started using the new ones. Also accused me of: "you & your staff don't even bother to replace the burnt out lightbulbs!" I responded by reminding them that: "Facilities has been testing the building for wiring / electrical problems ... the bulbs burn out too fast, staff were accused of stealing bulbs when in fact the problem is the building. Also, the supply ordering dept. never sent enough lightbulbs. As of Sept. the staff started tracking what bulbs were burnt out & replaced & where.

On 10-20-04 I turned in my resignation to ***supervisor 2*** . Gave 2 weeks notice, offered to do 1 month if needed... they declined.

I had my yearly physical on 10-18-04? and reported everything that had been going on, to my Doctor. He said that he supported my decision to resign, it sounded like a good decision & he added, he was really not surprised as I am not the first person to tell him about **TheAgency** treating their employees badly, but he is appalled that they, being a mental health agency, made no offers to help me work through my job burnout with therapy or by offering another position to me, or anything.

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SPECIFICS
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consistent poor working conditions & safety issues & disrespect

Maggots in the walls and ceiling 2002, a client had left food rotting in a cabinet. We actually had maggots falling onto our heads. We had to locate source & clean & get rid of maggots.

The house has been rodent infested since we moved there. (Exterminators finally came a month ago.)

Staff are held accountable for client medications & narcotics, yet med cabinets & narcotic locked boxes so cheap, they can be opened with just about any key or hairpin, etc. Issue was been addressed once last year & twice this year & nothing has been done.

Stair treads were loose for 2+ years. People did trip & fall.

Three foot long icicles hung above entrance & exit & fell often (2-story building with full attic). I had to bring a 3 foot icicle to a staff meeting and plop it on the meeting table to prove the size & potential danger before an awning was put up. One staff did get hit in the back (hit his backpack) with a large falling icicle.

Personal vehicles get vomited in & on, urinated in & fecal matter stains on seats. Staff are told to line their car seats with garbage bags for the clients to sit on. (disrespectful to staff & clients, stigmatizing of clients, not nice, potential health hazard d/t bodily fluids)

Consistent insufficient heat (inside temp only reached 55 degrees last winter). (unsafe, potential to be a health hazzard to elderly clients, disrespectful to all having to live or work there)

Over the years there has been a consistent, significant increase in paperwork expectations along with a consistent, significant decrease of the number of staff, and an increase in the number of clients and programs, which leaves less time for actual direct care of the clients.

Staff are expected to keep the front & back porch clean, which involves cleaning vomit daily, and urine at least once weekly... yet it took over a year for the agency to provide a hose for staff to use to clean the urine & vomit.

I told maintenance - facilities people that there was a growing gap between the floor & the wall in the hallway. They dismissed my reports, said it was nothing, and covered the gap with 1/4 round molding. This went on for 2 years, I reported it numerous times. Finally a contractor was hired to look at it & ended up having to jack up the center of the building & pour cement into the foundation & add new beams, as it was collapsing. (unsafe, potential to be life threatening, disrespect by dismissing my report)

No safety lighting inside. Was brought up over a year ago. (unsafe, potential to be life threatening, disrespect)

Staff go out into the community to deliver carded medication, carrying 30 or more cards of meds at a time, yet it took more than 2 years for the agency to get bags for them to carry the meds in. For the 1st year & 1/2 staff had been purchasing the duffle bags on their oun, out of pocket. (disrespectful & not nice)

Constantly questioned & second-guessed about office or household supplies I ordered. Staff are expected to keep FOUR, 5-bedroom apartments, 3 offices + 4 bathrooms & 4 kitchens clean at all times, yet it was literally a 2 year battle before we were allowed to receive a sufficient amount of paper towels.

More recently, staff were given computers to do all paperwork on, yet the supply ordering person, ********, insists on the most inexpensive ink cartridges, which of course contain less ink than the bulk ones, so we run out of ink & cannot do paperwork, which in turn causes the staff to be "spoken to" about doing paperwork in a timely manner".

Similar issue with fax machine. I would order ink, we did not receive the # of ink cartridges I ordered, we would run out, we would not receive important faxes (hospital discharges, etc) (felt unprofessional & foolish having to call & say hi, sorry we're out of ink again, can I come pick up the paperwork?) For a 6 month period of time, the staff were being blamed for misuse of the fax, using all of the ink to make copies, etc. when in fact it was the spam faxes that we were receiving that used the majority of the ink, and the lack of ink in the first place. (disrespect, distrust of staff)

The portable telephones are the cheapest phones available. This becomes a safety issue when you run upstairs to evacuate clients as the smoke detectors are sounding & you go to dial 9-1-1 for fire department, but the phone is so cheap that it does not work. When they do work, they are staticy & unreliable at best. This was reported to the exec. director. Within 2 weeks, we had new, cheap phones, that work just as poorly as the old ones. I contacted the exec director again on the issue, she said we lose phones, which is an untruth.

Never providing enough lightbulbs for the building. For 3 years, administration blamed staff of stealing lightbulbs, when they now suspect a wiring issue is the cause of going through so many lightbulbs. STaff have to actually keep a tracking sheet for lightbulbs that burn out & are replaced, date, time, location, etc ... so they will stop getting accused of stealing.

HR director has extremely poor communication skills. He will explain something, then assume you did not understand his explanation, and explain it again in a different way, then explain it again a third time, (honestly - no exaggeration -- he really did this) so that even if you did understand him the 1st time, you feel completely lost by the end of the 3rd explanation. And although he always appears very attentive, he is definitely NOT a good listener. (poor management, disrespect, blatantly obvious that he assumes all staff are stupid)


Frequently running short staffed d/t lack of Human Resources advertising. This issue has been going on consistently for the past year. Management expects the day & evening staff to work overnight shifts, whether this is planned or unplanned, switch shifts, unwanted overtime, etc.

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Quotes from job burnout information:

"can be triggered by long hours & herculean tasks or by a sense that one's work isn't good enough or doesn't count." "the problem ... too little recognition" "lack of recognition is a key reason for burnout"

"The insurance company study found that workers who had little control and too many constraints on how to do the job were at a high risk of burnout -- a finding that may come as no surprise to frazzled clerical or assembly line employees. A substantial cut in employee benefits and frequent, mandatory overtime also upped the risk of burnout, as did layoffs, a merger or change of ownership, or other cutbacks."

"the people most likely to succumb are often those with the greatest sense of mission in their work ... resilient & hardy ... they tend to be givers ... they want to contribute and make a difference. These are people who are caring & spiritually generous. They can take on enormous stress as long as long as they have some sense that they are being recognised."

"The reasons for job burnout, the researchers concluded, are varied and complex. In fact, the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH) has its own take on what stresses workers to the point of no return. Along with workloads, infrequent breaks and long hours, NIOSH cites a lack of control over your job -- including little or no support from bosses and co-workers and an inability to participate in decision-making. Other factors contributing to stress and burnout may be familiar to many workers: They include job insecurity, too much responsibility or conflicting expectations, and unpleasant or dangerous conditions, such as crowding, noise, or ergonomic problems."

"When someone is burned out, she will probably need help figuring out a way to recuperate. If the problem is overwork, then she might need to ask for an assistant or take an overdue vacation. But time off won't be enough if it means returning to a work situation that leaves her feeling worthless. In that case, it's a good idea to seek professional help. Many companies offer EAPs (Employee Assistance Programs). These are services offering a counseling hotline that workers can call for free. A counselor can help someone identify areas that she might change, for instance, asking for a reassignment or arranging a more flexible schedule. The insurance company survey found that just having an EAP available -- whether or not it was used -- had a salutary effect on workers."


References

Interview with Ruth Luban, a career consultant and author of Burnout: Keeping the Fire.


Interview with Karen Lawson, a management consultant based in suburban Philadelphia


Interview with Michael Leiter, a professor of psychology at Acadia University in Nova Scotia


Christina Maslach and Michael P. Leiter. The Truth About Burnout : How Organizations Cause Personal Stress and What to Do About It. Jossey-Bass: New York, New York: 1997, 256 pp.


Wilmar Schaufeli and Dirk Enzmann. The Burnout Companion to Study and Practice : A Critical Analysis (Issues in Occupational Health). Taylor & Francis: 1998


The Truth About Burnout : How Organizations Cause Personal Stress and What to Do About It, by Christina Maslach and Michael P. Leiter, Jossey-Bass, 1997


When Stress Won't Go Away, by William Atkinson, HR Magazine, December 2000, Vol. 45, No. 12 http://www.shrm.org/hrmagazine/articles/default.asp?page=1200atkinson.htm

Well... that's the write-up that unemployment had me do to explain the situation. **TheAgency** never fought my unemployment claim.

Digging out

Visiting family in upstate NY. I sure timed it well. I think I was complaining recently about the weather being very ... not winter-like ... & while complaining, I went on to say how I remembered the snowstorms of the 70's. Walking outside & all of the steps to the front door were buried. All 5 steps! And now, we've been transported back in time. It's the relentless snow. One storm comes through & buries us. We dig out. And we say, WOW. That's a lot of snow. Schools are closed, stores are closed... Then the weather report informs us that the nor' easter has passed, but there's a band of lake effect snows heading our way. And they sit above us, dumping & dumping. And we dig out. And stores close. And they declare emergency conditions & get federal funding ... & schools cancel february vacations because they've used too many snow days... And I look at the snow banks that are tall as me & wonder how the hell I shoveled all of that... And I think to myself, I KNOW we are all secretly hoping out roofs are strong enough to handle the weight. And now I realize, that the snowstorms I remember from the 70's were much less worrysome, & a heck of a lot more fun.... probably because my job at the time was to play in it, not to shovel it. :-)

The DUMBEST thing I've done ALL YEAR.

Superbowl was last night & we pigged out for hours. Naturally, after the game, we all crashed. Everyone was in a carb-induced food coma. No one felt like cleaning.

This AM I got up with the kids, they went off to school, and I stood there, staring at 2 sinks full of dirty dishes... the remnants of last night's feast.

Several months ago I read about microwaving sponges to kill germs & other nastiness... & I've been tossing my sponges in & nuking them for 2 minutes, just about every day. And I've got to say, I'm really pleased with the results. They don't get gross-feeling, or smelly, so I'm convinced it actually does work.

Leaving dishes overnight always makes the job more difficult, and there are usually a few particularly nasty items you really wish you had rinsed out the night before. When I came across our wooden spoon, that's exactly what I was wishing. It was coated with day-old refried beans & slimy water from a combination of several different beverages & someone's half-hearted attempt of soaking the dishes last night. It was gross. Wood is porous, so I was sure it had all kinds of nasty germs & evil spores on & in it. I thought of throwing the wooden spoon away, but I really like the wooden spoons & I don't like to waste. And THAT'S the moment it hit me! My eyes got wide... my eyebrows rose up ... and I said to myself: "Barb, you're brilliant!"

I walk myself with my slimy wooden spoon over to the microwave, set it for two minutes, (just like the sponges) and walk back to the sink.

Not EVEN a minute later I think to myself ... "what's that smell?" ..... 20 seconds after that, the ENTIRE kitchen & living room are filled with smoke. I turn around & see smoke coming out of every crevace of the microwave. I ran to the microwave & whipped open the door -- no flames, but a PILE of thick, disgusting smoke comes pouring out, into the already choking air. I decide I do not need the extinguisher, I just need air so I run around & open the windows & doors & stand there trying to breathe some fresh air for a minute, thinking to myself ... "man! I'm a dumbass". The air clears enough for me to get the (completely charred) wooden spoon out of the microwave. (At this point, I'm pretty sure it no longer contains ANY germs or evil spores.) I pick it up with our potholder & it immediately falls apart in my hand. Wow.

So, if you ever thought to yourself: "Gee, I wonder how long it would take for a wet, slimy wooden spoon to catch on fire if I put it in the microwave?" The answer is... exactly 1 minute, 15 seconds.

And THAT my friends, is The DUMBEST thing I've done ALL YEAR. (And it's only February.)

Some GrammaBurp fridge magnets :-)