I am in love with this song

Well I heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

I saw Jesus in the desert

I was driving in southern california, somewhere between Joshua Tree & Palm Springs. I don't remember the name of the road, but I can picture it vividly in my mind. On the side of this busy, business-lined four-lane road, I see a man dressed in raggy grey clothing, carrying over his right shoulder ... dragging ... a wooden cross at least twice his size.
A religious demonstration is what I assumed. Or maybe a mentally ill man. Why would the son of god be in So. Cal.?
I didn't hear of any crucifixion's on the news that evening, so I think it's safe to say he wasn't actually Jesus.
But what if he had been. Not one car stopped. Not person went up to help him carry it.
Imagine how different that moment would have been ... if one ... two ... or three people went up to him, and helped him carry it a few yards.

Total Meltdown

She's 4.

She insisted on wearing a heavy sweater to school that morning.

The afternoon heat, being a little tired ... and the sweater, were all contributing factors in what happened next.

We discovered we were out of formula so I ran to grocery store after picking her up from school. Parked the car. As we walk toward the door, she says she wants to ride in a cart. I said "OK".
We stood at the carts for at least 2 full minutes. She wanted the red one... but not THAT red one. She didn't want the other one I chose either. We tried the one red available one again ... no.
I weighed the options ... baby at home, needs formula. 4 year old here, needs to ride in a cart. Hmmm.

And I said:
"OK, that's it, come on, we have to go in now."
(INSERT 'Wrong answer!' GAME SHOW BUZZER HERE)

She starts getting upset, reluctantly walks inside with me, crying, starting to scream - not quite walking now - a few stares ... and we're at the baby aisle ...
oh crap, the formula's not here and she's escalating.
By the time we reach the service desk, she's in total melt-down mode. She's screaming like she's being beaten, and she's put herself on the floor. I'm so glad I know the lady at the service desk. I could barely think with all the screaming & people staring. She gets the formula for me.

That's when I have a flashback.

This hasn't happened to me in 18 years. It was K-Mart. It was the 4 yr old's mother. Shoe shopping. Couldn't decide. 20+ minutes. She had tried on every pair of shoes in the store, twice. My decision to say - OK, that's enough, we're leaving. My daughter had to be carried out by my partner at the time. Me following close behind. She was screaming: "I WANT MY MOTHER!!!!" all the way out.
This memory, of course, made me start to giggle.
My friend at the service desk tells me not to laugh. I realize I probably look rediculous ... crazy even. 4 year old on the floor at price chopper screaming, and me laughing.

OK ... time to leave.
Nope.
I struggle to pick her up off the floor. By the time we get from the service desk to the exit door, she's screamed & wiggled her way out of my arms and is on the sidewalk, screaming. I start laughing again. I can't help it. What would Nanny 911 do? Trying to speak calmy. I promise a time-out as soon as we get to my house. THAT just gives her new material to scream about. I can't think. I need her mother. I carry this flailing screaming tantrum-having 4 year old to the car & dial her mother as she again puts herself on the pavement screaming. All I can think about is how gross the ground is. I hope she's not rolling in some pre-chewed gum or spit or something nasty. Mommy is on speakerphone now. And that's all it took.
Within a minute she has gotten herself calmed down & into her carseat and is begging not to have to do a time out when we get to my house.

She did her time out.

It's the kind of thing that makes me want to have more children ... you?

Adoptive Parents NEED NOT FEAR losing their adult child to a birthparent

I just watched part of a TV show called An Adoption Story. The prospective adoptive parents expressed concern because they "heard about adopted children growing up & leaving them to find their birth parents" ... and they "didn't want to put all that effort into raising a child only to have them leave". My first reaction was: "Oh my God, what an insecure dick!" And after thinking about it for ... oh, maybe 10 seconds, I realized I had to say something.

I understand. They just don't know. They've got no adopted friends, no experience with it. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a concern for them. They ended up adopting from Korea. Partly, I think, to alleviate their concerns about "putting all that effort into raising a child only to have him / her leave someday".

Ya, the guy pissed me off. FIRST of all, if you're a good, loving parent, and you do your best, your child isn't going to leave you. SECONDLY, for an adoptee, the need to know where you came from is natural, and not necessarily a bad thing.

My birth parents are both good people, both were too young to raise me when I was born.

My parents wanted nothing more than to have children. They loved me & gave me (and my brother - also adopted) an awesome childhood.

Both birth parents, when I met them, asked if I'd had a good childhood.

Yes.

I love my parents. My parents will always be, my parents. My mom & dad.

I'm one of the lucky ones -- who was able to find & meet my birth families. I've built relationships with them, and I love many of them too. But that love absolutely does not take from the love - the bond - the relationship I have with my parents & my brother.

I hope that this blog is found, by people who are considering adoption. People who fear losing a child they raised.
If you're that person, please hear me when I say this ... LOVE your child. And you will not lose them. Be HONEST with them from day one. UNDERSTAND that they may NEED to know where they came from biologically. SUPPORT them in that. And you won't lose them.

And TODAYS most brilliant news statement is ...

And TODAYS most brilliant news statement is ...

"Officials are looking into WHY the two trains were on the same track."

let see ...

don't drink and drive

don't eat rat poison

don't hold a gun to your head

don't put two trains on the same track heading toward each other

through the eyes of the camera holder

I don't know if anyone else saw this, but last night on The History Channel, there was a 9/11 special. Footage none of us have ever seen before, captured by regular people; a college student, a mother, a couple of regular guys, etc. It was amazing to see it unfold, the way they saw it.

The mom a block away, she & her husband inside their apartment, one minute terrified, watching a terrorist attack killing thousands, the next minute telling her little girl -- in a calm, comforting voice -- to go watch cartoons. All were evacuated from their buildings ... and sent walking.

One guy filming, captured a group of firefighters walking, carrying their equipment toward tower 2, close-ups of their faces. I remember thinking how beautiful they all were ... and wondering if they lived through the day. Later we were told that all of them were killed. It was almost spiritual seeing their faces. It's hard to explain without sounding like a crazy person... there was just this great sense of calm about them.

We heard voices coming through the radios. The voices of men up there trying to help, sounding overwhelmed, frustrated, sad, desperate.

And one guy walks by a building with 7's on each large window. Building 7? Yup. The guy with the camera went in. There was a dude inside, in charge. "Everyone's out of here, we evacuated, I'm just here to make sure nobody else is up there." (Yet he was standing in the lobby.) He tells dude with camera he should go. But the most remarkable thing about that footage ... there was no smoke. No fire in building 7.

Men with thick Italian accents at times square, watching it all unfold -- with 100 other people -- on the big screen. "We should go to war, now!" & "They don't deserve to walk this planet." & We should go to Afghanistan & just bomb the hell out of em'. -- blow them all up -- kill 'em all!."

"Basic human survival." they called it. Speaking of which, A five-second shot, of an Asian man, carrying a 3 year old boy. The man was wearing one of these

The child he carried, was not.

My immediate reaction to seeing that was: "fucking asshole".

I like to think that I do not know anyone who would have been wearing that -- everyone I know would have had it on the child.

Fucking asshole.

The college students. Two Freshmen women. "What do we do? what do we do? Wait for ME!"

People just completely covered in the white ash.

A fireman phones his wife: "I'm okay."

I don't know when they'll replay it again. Maybe you can see it online. I don't know. Due to the graphic nature ... it was on late.

Very powerful stuff.

See it if you can.

Are greeting cards recession-proof?

Are greeting cards recession-proof?

I think so.

Everyone can still afford a birthday card.

Maybe not a birthday gift ... but definitely a birthday card.

Woohoo!!!!!!

Avon anyone? Get free shipping!

A friend of mine sells AVON it's soooo different these days.

Check it out.

OH! & if you order direct from her website, you can get FREE SHIPPING!

Michael Phelps - The Early Years

Michael Phelps - The Early Years

got this in an e-mail

wish I'd thought of it first!

This is your last chance to lower your interest rates.

The phone rang 10 minutes ago. A pre-recorded message says: "This is your last chance to lower your interest rates."

The last THREE times this company called, I informed them that I was on the Do Not Call list. Instead of making note of that & telling me they won't call again, they just hung up on me.

So today ... just now ... they called back.

Would you like to lower your interest rates? "Sure!" I said. Then the guy talked for 2 minutes straight until I said: "Ummm, I think you wanna talk to my mom." "Oh! OK" he said.

So I called out "Mom!!!" "Phone!!!"

And gently placed the phone down. Waited 5 minutes, picked it up & said "You still there?" He said "yes", I said "hold on a minute". He said "OK". I yelled "Mom!!!! Phone!!"

He's still holding.

Ha!

Today I learned how to tell the sex of a tomato.

It's a boy !!!

I had no idea.

Really. Something so simple... But it's got me thinking...

If tomatos have A sex ... does that mean they have SEX?

And if so, what do female tomatos call it when they have sex for the first time?

And if a cherry tomato loses her cherry ...

what does she have left?

I am now going to put my male tomato into the food processor. I suspect I may get some satisfaction from it.

The salsa I mean.

yummmmmm

PS HOLY SHIT, DO WE HAVE TOMATOS!

they're like 6 feet tall ... how THAT ever happened, I'll never know. Beginners luck probably.

Sausage in the oven.

4 AM

the phone rings.

The phone ringing at 4AM is scary.

I wake up enough by the 4th ring to fly out of bed, afraid something is terribly wrong.

"Hello?" I say.

A young woman says: "Can I put my sausage in your oven?"

At this point I sigh, partly pissed, partly releived because no one is hurt or dying, and I say to her: "You woke me up for THIS?"
Without missing a beat she responds: "Did you say you're up for this?"

Had I been more awake ... and not so freshly recovering from being scared ... I may not have hung up ... I may have praised her on her ability to think on her feet. Her response was hilarious.

I'd like to meet her.

Today’s most enlightening headline.

The news stations all reported today, a most enlightening little piece of information, as told to them ...

Are you ready for it?

Sure?

OK, here it is ...

Feds: anthrax suspect had serious mental health issues.

Wow. I gotta tell ya ... I was really blown away by this little piece of info. I was SURE the person behind the anthrax stuff was completely sane. Gee Batman, you just never know about people ...

Roscoe, I do believe we’s being bullshitted.

How come ....

when the price of oil goes up, gas prices go up

but

when the price of oil goes down, they tell us it takes a month or two for the price of gas to catch up.

====================================

Roscoe, I do believe we's being bullshitted.

Sunday AM TV

Somehow I've developed this morning routine, wake up, make coffee, smoke, channel surf, drink coffee, etc. Just until the caffeine takes effect & I'm awake enough to function & get to work.

So I'm sitting there flipping through the channels this morning & I realize it's Sunday because of the subject matter on the boob tube.

FIRST there's the hunters. I don't think that's an appropriate name for them though. People who buy expensive equipment ... camouflage themselves in the woods, use light-weight, high speed bow & arrow or high powered rifles with scopes on them that let you kill something a mile away, cameras so they can find the animals while they're hiding on a little platform high up in a tree. ----- I don't considering that hunting, I think it should be called outsmarting ... or sneaking ... or tricking ... or cheating. Whatever you want to call it, it's anything BUT "hunting". And I think, anyone who uses those tactics to outsmart an animal is just a big pussy. You heard me. A big, chicken-shit, can't really hunt, butt-munching pussy. Wear your regular clothing, bring a knife or MAKE your own weapon out of the tree branches, no cameras, no high-tech gear, no hiding in fucking trees you big fucking pussy. No devices to make an animal think there's a friend in distress calling out for them, no sound-makers making fake mating calls, no fake scents to lure them to you. Make it a fair fight. And maybe THEN ... you can call yourself a hunter.

THEN I click through a few more channels and there's a televangelist. Oh fucking yippee. I listen to this bozo for 15 seconds and all he has to say is that people ... human beings have a soul, but dogs do not. How the fuck does he know? I think there are more kind dogs than there are kind people. I think dogs care more about human beings than human beings care about human beings. I think that if god is truly kind and good, then there's no way he doesn't have a dog for a best friend. And I also say, that televangelist can kiss my fat white ass.

Life

Priorities.
Work.
Family.
Life.
Love.

In the same 2 week period, my granddaughter and my dad both ended up being hospitalized.

They're fine now, home, happy. But it was one of those moments that made me look back - when it was all over - and say to myself ...
ALL of the things I was falling behind on, work not getting done -- in as timely a manner as I usually like -- house looking like a tornado passed through ... none of it, is as important as I would've said it was, two weeks ago.

my cat walked across the fresh polyurethane floor and it got all stuck in her paws

So, we've been refinishing old floors in our old house. 'Upside-down' is the only word I think truly describes this place right now. Exhausting work too. And if you know me at all, you know I'm not a 'manual labor' type of gal. I'll gladly manage the laborers -- and even show them how to do the job right -- but I get quite sick of dirty, sweaty, repetitive work ... really quickly.

One bedroom is all we planned on doing. It came out nicely & we had paid for the weekend machine rental & had a day to spare - but when I woke up with memories of a vivid dream about gorgeous old hardwood being under 7 layers of shit that we have -- not so affectionately -- come to know as our kitchen floor - I hopped out of bed & grabbed a crowbar. Yes, even before my coffee. I moved a small counter, in case I completely fucked it up so I could cover it up, and hammered the crowbar under the 1st 2 layers of linoleum. Then there was gunk, and then a layer of white textured paper that I think may have been the backing of the brown linoleum at one time. Then red & white checkered tiles from the 50's... then tarpaper. And that's when it happened. 6 or 7 inch wide beautiful old beaten hardwood, original to this 1879 house. I made coffee & went upstairs & woke Dor up with this: "Honey, I'm tearing up the kitchen floor ... wanna join me?" I have never, ever seen her get outta bed so quickly.

When we got it all sanded we weren't sure about some of the darker spots, inconsistencies & the old water stains... but we decided that it's aged & beautiful & it tells the story of what this home has been through. We discovered a 1 foot wide circular mark next to the chimney. There are square - rectangular actually - nail heads everywhere. Then we realized we found where the hearth was. You can soooo see it ... and to the left of it, where the wood was stacked. There's a warped part, and a burn spot where hot coals obviously fell. It's gorgeous.

We're waiting on the last coat of polyurethane to completely dry now. Last night, while Dor was spreading the last coat -- even though we had blocked off the room completely -- one of our cats managed to sneak in & run across it. Her paws were all sticky with this poison -- gunking now -- and she was licking & biting to get it off.

I googled like a madman - but found nothing. And I didn't know what to do. I didn't want her dying overnight. First of all, because I love the stupid cat. Secondly, if the floor killed her, I'd have to cover it up. Didn't want to do that either.

So I called our vet and it was a recording. "You've reached Greylock Animal Hospital ... If this is an emergency, call this number for on-call." So I call their on-call number. They took my name, number, a description of what happened, the pet's name, and asked if we were patients there. OK. But then they said there is no one on duty on the overnights and vetrinary office covering for them is in SOUTH DEERFIELD, which is over an hour away! And gave me their number. I asked why they needed all of my info if no one was there to help? She said the Doctor would be calling tomorrow to check on how the cat was.

I call the So. Deerfield Vet & they tell me they don't know about the polyurethane & I should call the ASPCA's Poison Control number.

So I call the ASPCA poison control number. 10 minutes or more on the phone with them, reading the label off of the can, pet info, contact info, and a credit card number for $60 payment for their services because they're not State funded at all, and THEN I'm put on hold for 5 minutes while the actual vet is reached.

The vetrinarian comes on & says ... To get the polyurethane off, that's stuck on & in between my cat's paws, get some peanut butter, mineral oil or vegetable oil & rub the area then wash off with palmolive or dawn. Hydrocarbons can cause pneumonia within 24 hours watch for trouble breathing, wheezing, coughing ... mild diarhhea is OK, more is not ... vomiting 1 to 2 times is OK, anything more is not. Some skin & stomach irritation may occur.

The cat was THRILLED with the whole peanut butter & oil & dishsoap & rinse experience ... she was soooo pissed. And I think the other cats all thought they were gonna get it next because they wouldn't come anywhere near us when we had finished with the first one... & they didn't take their eyes off of us.

Oh. And by the way... Greylock never called to check up on us. Oh, AND ... I blog'd about the vet the last time we took everyone in and how odd I found it that suddenly 80% of my pets needed dental work. Well, last week, they all (all 7 of 'em) had their yearly appointment. ($800.00) Funny thing, no one needs dental work any longer. They just have a little tartar. Funnier still, we never got the dental work done in the first place.

So today I called them & asked if they knew of a Vetrinary Hospital who has on-call emergency / overnight coverage. They gave me another Vet's number. Told them to have all of our pet's records ready for us to pick up ... we wouldn't be coming back there. Do you know ... they didn't even ask why.

Floor photos will be added soon.

:-)

Movies ...

THE BUCKET LIST is everything you expect, and then some. One of the best movies we've seen all year.

DADDY DAY CAMP cutsey flick, made me LOL 3x.

P.S. I LOVE YOU was also a great movie. HIGHLY recommended! I'm even gonna read the book.

JUNO good. But you knew that already. Somewhat unrealistic. The main character is waaaay more mature than ANY teen I know, which kind of makes it unrealistic.

DAN IN REAL LIFE surprised me. I thought it was gonna be stupid, it was actually a great story. Kind of edging on one of those 'groundhog day - esque' in that the mail character kind of gets kicked in the head repeatedly (which annoys me) ... but overall, good.

CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR is an ABSOLUTE MUST SEE.

NEARING GRACE - I've always loved David Morse ... his broken leg has finally healed (lol) ... This is one of those movies that completely 100% takes you out of yourself, in into their lives. I loved it.

braless boob bouncing arm flailing crazy woman

I was having a good, lazy day. Never even bothered to put shoes or a bra on yesterday. I hate bras. Minding my own business. I went outside to smoke. One of our cats came out when I did.
As I sit down & light up, a pair of birds start chirping. Flying around together - bouncing around inside the branches of our lilac bush. Together, they're playing. Play-boxing, flirting, playing tag ... I don't know. They're practically on top of each other, making lots of noise, obviously having an awesome time on the first day of summer.
But I've seen this before. I know what happens next.
The pair of birds lands in the road at the end of our driveway. My cat that came outside with me is crouching now - in attack mode. I yell at the cat - she ignores me - as I knew she would, so I go running down the driveway. I MUST reach the happy birds before the cat does. Barefoot & braless, I'm running, flailing my arms, yelling at the birds: "go-on! - git! - get out of here!" She didn't pounce in time. I scared the shit out of the pair of birds. They flew off screaming obscenities at me in Spanish. I smile, knowing I have saved the birds from a truly painful death, I pivot to lecture the cat & head back to my cigarette. It was then that I saw our mailman, staring, jaw dropped. So naturally, I see the hilarity of it all & I start laughing ... which I'm sure added to his curiosity about my level of sanity - & whether or not he'd be safe walking up our driveway to deliver the mail.
Dor's outside now. I tell her the story - through my bursts of uncontrolled giggling - my head shaking back & forth - "I don't know if he's going to deliver the mail today." I tell her. We're sitting together now, smoking, as he slowly, cautiously walks up the driveway. He reaches us, hands Dor the mail (even though I had my hand out). He looks scared. Dor says to him: "She's not really a crazy person, she just plays one on TV." And we all shared a good laugh.